By Tom Purcell

“Did you see that the federal government raked in record tax revenues so far this fiscal year? The country must be doing great!”

“Ah, yes, you speak of the Monthly Treasury Statement which was recently released. It says that the federal government generated nearly $2.5 trillion in revenue through the first nine months of fiscal 2015 (Oct. 1, 2014, through the end of June). That is more tax revenue than our country has seen before, but the Congressional Budget Office just warned that the country is not doing so great!”

“It’s not?”

“In its latest Long-Term Budget Outlook for 2015, the CBO reports that ‘The long-term outlook for the federal budget has worsened dramatically over the past several years, in the wake of the 2007-2009 recession and slow recovery.’”

“That doesn’t sound so good.”

“The numbers are sizable and can put a Harvard accountant to sleep, but the CBO makes clear that our long-term budget is unsustainable without drastic cost reductions or tax increases. Put simply, our spendthrift ways are continuing to rack up our debt.”

“Sheesh, you sure are depressing.”

“Sorry, but far too many voters don’t have any awareness of this issue. We have to get the dreary facts out there.”

“I’ll try to be strong. Go on.”

“Look, the CBO says the historical average level of publicly held debt over the last 50 years was 38 percent of America’s gross domestic product. But with all the money we borrowed and spent in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis and all the money we keep borrowing and spending, our debt-to-GDP ratio has shot up to 74 percent. CBO estimates it will hit 103 percent in 2040.”

“That sounds like a lot of debt.”

“The last time government debt was higher than that was in 1945, when it hit 104 percent of GDP, and 1946, when it hit 106 percent.”

“Well, we had to spend lots of dough to win the big one against Nazi Germany and Japan. But now what are we spending all of our money on?”

“The rising growth in entitlement spending. According to CNS News, Keith Hall, the CBO director, said in written testimony that an aging population combined with rising health-care costs will result in government ‘revenues that fall well short of spending over the long term, producing a substantial imbalance in the federal budget.’”

“That doesn’t sound very encouraging.”

“It gets worse. All of the trillions our government has borrowed are being serviced at record-low interest rates. The Federal Reserve has kept them low since the last economic crisis. When those rates reset to historic norms, our debt-service costs will explode.”

“Next time we talk, remind me to bring bourbon.”

“These are not my opinions, but CBO findings I am sharing. The CBO says that to get back to historical debt levels of 38 percent of GDP, we’d have to increase revenue by 14 percent or cut spending by 13 percent.”

“Well, the economic recovery continues to languish. I don’t see politicians cutting government goodies now that so many voters are enjoying them or raising taxes.”

“Well, Hall said if we don’t resolve the challenge now, we will eventually face a crisis. He said that once government’s creditors begin to doubt our ability to repay our debt, interest rates on the debt will have to increase to entice them to buy it. That is the point at which a fiscal crisis will occur and it will ‘have a substantial negative impact on the country.’”

“With your upbeat attitude, you ought to give motivational speeches at business conferences.”

Tyrades! By Danny Tyree

“Sharpen ’em if you got ’em.”

Once upon a time, people looked upon permission to partake of nicotine as a golden opportunity to relax. Now millions fight stress in a more colorful way.

According to the July 12 “Parade” magazine, coloring books for adults have gone mainstream — with grown-ups merrily embellishing books of paisleys, botanicals, animals, enchanted forests, celebrities, decorative fans and more.

There are million sellers among the more than 150 books available. (That doesn’t count the 10-volume set that failed miserably in its attempt to calm down Donald Trump’s hair.)

When I was a little kid, both my mother and paternal grandmother benefitted from the paint-by-numbers craze. The world is even more nerve-racking now, so I can understand why so many folks are eager to relax with this childhood-rooted pursuit.

My friend Dinsdale, however, tends to overanalyze everything and countered all my praise.

I told Dinsdale that being immersed in the world of coloring lets people travel back to a simpler time of life. (“Yeah, back when they imagined hypodermic needles to be 10 feet long, the monsters under the bed civilly debated whether youngsters taste better with mustard or mayo and their pet dog abruptly decided to retire to the country after the kid heard screeching tires and a thump outside the house. Good times.”)

Looking back at the “Parade” article, I remarked that the opportunity for creativity makes many fans feel like they’re a co-creator with the designer of the coloring book. (“Yeah, except that they’re the collaborator who doesn’t get the money, the fan mail or the podcast interviews. Sounds like the makings for the breakup of a rock band. You know, ‘It used to be about the turquoise, man!’”)

I thought surely Dinsdale couldn’t argue with the value of coloring as a form of therapy or meditation. (“Right — that’s why you always see the Dalai Lama traveling the globe promoting peace, harmony and the chance for Crayola to make a boatload of money.”)

I mentioned that enthusiasts recommend coloring above other leisure activities because it offers complete absorption, engaging both hemispheres of the brain. (“Won’t that be confusing? When it’s winter in one hemisphere, won’t it be summer in the other one?”) No one ever said Dinsdale was the sharpest crayon in the 64-pack.

I cited the feeling of accomplishment that colorists get from bringing something beautiful into the world. (“Yeah, but they get carried away with their accomplishments, just like the over-achieving garden-sharing neighbors. It’s all ‘Here come the Lawsons with more geometric designs for the refrigerator door! Quick — start firing the Druckers’ excess zucchini at them!’”)

Coloring is largely a solitary hobby, but many practitioners display their work via social media or join groups that are described as being like old-timey quilting bees. (“Quilting bees were a distraction from delivering your 14th child or hitching up the mule and plowing the South 40. These modern gatherings are a distraction from, I don’t know, the seven bazillion OTHER things you could be doing in 20-bleepin’-15!”)

I hope Dinsdale won’t object if I invite my readers to explore the world of adult coloring and to send coloring books as gifts to the appropriate friends.

“Just don’t be surprised if they ignore the coloring book and play with the empty box!”

*Sigh* Another coloring book, please. I just ripped that one in half.