Gavel Gamut
By Jim Redwine
(Week of 16 November 2015)
OF MICE AND WOMEN
There’s something about a woman that doesn’t like a mouse. More specifically, Peg hates them. Perhaps she hasn’t considered things from the mouse’s point of view as Robert Burns did when his plough dug up a mouse’s den in Scotland in 1785:
“I’m truly sorry man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union
Which makes thee startle
At me, thy poor, earth born companion
An’ fellow mortal!
…. I doubt na (not), whyles (sometimes) but thou may thieve (steal);
What then? Poor beastie, thou mawn (must) live!
….
Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ waste,
An’ weary winter coming fast,
An’ cozy here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! The cruel coulter (plough) past
Out thro’ thy cell.
….
The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
Gang aft agley (go often astray).
Burn’s sanguine acceptance of mice as part of nature is foreign to Peg. Whereas a more generous soul might see a surprise encounter with a mouse in our house as an opportunity, Peg is left in doubt (as Mark Twain might say).
Is it the mouse’s fault our diligent farmer friend and neighbor, Mark Duckworth, harvests his corn and soybeans thereby driving the mouse to make his new home with us? I think not.
How much harm can one, or a few, small furry critters do to Peg’s store of knitting wool and left over grass seed? Is there no room in the gentle female breast for a homeless mother mouse and her offspring?
And if she cannot find it in her heart to share our bounty and shelter, what about the effect her high pitched, high decibel screams have on me as I am trying to watch football? Is there no concern for collateral damage?
Besides, as I gently pointed out to Peg, if she would just abide our guests until spring, either they will forsake our den for one of their own when Mark furnishes them with new wheat, beans and corn, or they will die and slowly disintegrate over the winter. Either way my football games can proceed without shrill, female punctuation.
This reminds me of a Married With Children segment.
Peg was down in the basement and saw a mouse, so she came running up the stairs screaming and said, “Oh Al, it was horrible, it was terrible, it almost scared me to death.”
Al said, “What did you do Peg, see the vacuum cleaner?”…..
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