Dear Lil,
After 28 years of marriage and three kids, my wife and I divorced two months ago. It took awhile to get out there and start meeting women again, but I finally did it and met a woman named Sherri. We’ve been spending tons of time together and we have so much in common. She is a great listener and she really seems to think very highly of me.Â
I’ve made it perfectly clear that while I value her friendship and love spending time with her, but I don’t want a serious relationship. Sherri says she understands and agrees that we shouldn’t be serious, yet she keeps sending me cards, calling everyday and giving me gifts. Sherri isn’t the woman I imagine myself with for the future, but she will do for now.
Lil, how can I continue spending time with Sherri while I wait for Ms. Right? I want to keep my options open because she isn’t what I envisioned for a partner, but she is really fun to be around for the time being. By the way, we haven’t consummated the relationship. I think she would really be hooked.
Sincerely, Randy
Randy,
I’m glad you took your time grieving after your divorce! What took you so long? You sound pretty sure of your ability to actually find a “Ms. Right,†so why are you even spending your time with Sherri?
First of all, Sherri sounds like a great gal, understanding, good listener and able to handle the phony-baloney you’ve been feeding to her. Sounds like she wants you to be her Mr. Right and you’re just stringing poor Sherri along, giving her false hope while you look for a flashier fish!
I wish Sherri had written this letter so I could tell her to kick you to the curb! I would have told sweet and trusting Sherri to call up your ex to find out who you really are. I don’t know why your 28 year marriage ended, but I’m sure your ex can fill Sherri in on the details.
Randy, if you truly value your friendship with Sherri, cut her loose now!  Don’t lead her on for another day and make sure you don’t tell her that you have been biding your time waiting for someone better to come along. Sherri deserves to be more than a temporary fill-in for your “Ms. Right.â€Â Break off your “friendship†with Sherri before her dear heart gets broken, and do it gently but firmly.
Love and Kisses,
LilÂ
