WHEN PIGS DIE, HOPEFULLY

GAVEL GAMUT

By Jim Redwine

The nine-banded armadillos, the species we now have in Oklahoma, began to migrate across the Rio Grande from Mexico into Texas in the mid-1800’s. They then began to waddle on north with the first documented sighting in southern Oklahoma being in 1936. I had never seen an armadillo until the late 1960’s and then only rarely as road kill, sometimes with a Coors beer can propped up in its dead paws.

Armadillos are generally about 2 ½ feet long and weigh about 12 pounds. They look like an elongated pig that is covered with scaly armor. Each adult female can produce one egg that separates into 4 young. Their front feet have 4 claws, their back feet have 5 claws and they reportedly taste like pork. I cannot verify this. I do have a friend who claims they are delectable. He ignores their reputation for carrying leprosy.

As for me and Peg, we consider armadillos to be nasty rodents that dig numerous large holes in our property that we must avoid or bump over as we mow or walk. We currently have neither horses nor cattle but our neighboring ranches on all sides do and complain that armadillo holes are a danger to livestock.

Years ago, I started out trapping then eliminating them. I do not ascribe to the school that traps varmints then releases them onto other peoples’ environments to be their problems. However, I now just skip the trapping stage and sit on our veranda in the evening with a loaded shotgun. Sometimes I actually am successful in my mission but have frequently found to my embarrassment, the prehistoric prey eludes my unfriendly intent. I often end the evening with the disquieting feeling the armadillos are sitting around their dens exchanging amusing anecdotes about how they have drawn me in then artfully dodged my feeble aim.

Perhaps what I should do is follow the advice of B.F. Skinner and change my approach from one of negative disincentives to a psychology based on positive reinforcement. I may just invite my armadillo eating friend to come to the Happy Armadillo Hunting Ground of JPeg Osage Ranch. Bon Appetit!

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