Surviving the Holiday Blues: Dealing with Stress and Depression During the Festive Season

Johnny Kincaid December 1, 2024

The holidays are supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” Yet, for many people, they feel like anything but. Between juggling family commitments, shopping for gifts, managing finances, and dealing with the general hustle and bustle, the holidays can bring on a level of stress that rivals even the busiest workdays. For others, feelings of loneliness, grief, or seasonal depression can take center stage, making this time feel particularly isolating. If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone—and there’s hope.

Experts agree that while holiday stress and depression are common, there are ways to navigate this tricky time of year with more ease and emotional well-being.

This year, we have to take politics into consideration

Dave Bowersox, a pastor at The Hills Church in Evansville, says that differing beliefs can cause a lot of friction at family get-togethers. “I’m doing a lot of work with folks to just help bridge the gap between whether you disagree politically or even just with life choices.” Bowersox said, “Like, can we put those aside?”

According to Bowersox, some notable voices are suggesting that isolation is a good way to deal with these differences. “I’m really saddened by the conversation going on out there,” he said. “Respected professionals are saying, hey, it’s OK to just isolate this season. I don’t remember a time when I’ve seen somebody say it’s a good thing to isolate this year because you’re upset with somebody or you disagree with them.”

Understanding the Roots of Holiday Stress

Why are the holidays so stressful? Dr. Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear, says that much of the pressure stems from unrealistic expectations. “We often idealize the holidays,” she explains, “but life isn’t perfect, and neither are the holidays. When we expect everything to go smoothly—perfect meals, happy family gatherings, flawless gift exchanges—we set ourselves up for disappointment.”

The holidays also come with a significant financial burden. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), 62% of Americans report that money is a source of stress during this season. Whether it’s the pressure to buy expensive gifts, travel, or host parties, the financial toll can leave people feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

And then there’s the emotional side. For those who have lost loved ones, this time of year can be a painful reminder of who’s missing. Similarly, people who are estranged from family or living far from friends may feel especially lonely.

Recognizing Signs of Holiday Depression

While stress during the holidays is common, for some, it goes deeper. Depression can show up as persistent sadness, lack of energy, changes in appetite or sleep, and loss of interest in activities you usually enjoy. For those who already struggle with depression, the holidays may exacerbate these symptoms.

“Seasonal depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), is also something to be mindful of,” says Dr. Norman Rosenthal, the psychiatrist who first described SAD in the 1980s. “The shorter days and reduced sunlight in winter can trigger depressive symptoms in vulnerable individuals.”

Understanding that these feelings are valid—and that you’re not alone in experiencing them—can be the first step toward finding relief.

Practical Tips for Managing Holiday Stress

Set Realistic Expectations
Let go of the need for a Pinterest-perfect holiday. Focus on what really matters to you and your loved ones. “Ask yourself: What do I want to feel during the holidays?” advises Dr. Manly. “Once you identify that—whether it’s peace, joy, or connection—you can make decisions that align with those values.”

Create a Budget (and Stick to It)
Financial stress can be a major contributor to holiday blues. Set a spending limit and stick to it. Remember, meaningful gifts don’t have to be expensive. Sometimes, a heartfelt note or a handmade present can mean more than something bought from a store.

Prioritize Self-Care
It’s easy to neglect yourself when you’re busy with holiday obligations, but taking care of your physical and mental health is crucial. Try to get enough sleep, eat nourishing foods, and make time for exercise—even if it’s just a brisk walk around the block. “Exercise is a powerful mood booster,” says Dr. Rosenthal. “It helps combat stress and depression by releasing endorphins.”

Learn to Say No
You don’t have to attend every holiday party or participate in every Secret Santa exchange. Saying no to obligations that don’t serve your well-being is not only okay—it’s necessary.

Delegate Responsibilities
You don’t have to do it all. Ask family members to pitch in with cooking, decorating, or shopping. Sharing the workload can help ease your stress and make everyone feel more involved.

Navigating Emotional Challenges

Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s okay to feel sad, lonely, or overwhelmed during the holidays. Suppressing those emotions will only make them worse. Allow yourself to grieve if you’ve lost someone or feel disappointed if the season isn’t shaping up as you’d hoped.

Reach Out for Support
Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help you process your emotions. Sometimes, just sharing your feelings with someone who listens can be incredibly healing.

Create New Traditions
If old traditions bring more pain than joy, consider starting new ones. Whether it’s volunteering at a local shelter, hosting a game night with friends, or taking a solo trip, creating a fresh approach to the holidays can help shift your perspective.

Practice Gratitude
It’s easy to focus on what’s missing during the holidays, but shifting your attention to what you do have can be a powerful antidote to sadness. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking a moment each day to reflect on something you’re thankful for can improve your mood.

Tackling Loneliness During the Holidays

For those spending the holidays alone, finding ways to connect with others—even in small ways—can make a big difference. Consider reaching out to community groups, attending local events, or volunteering. Helping others often provides a sense of purpose and connection.

Dr. Manly also suggests planning ahead to create a holiday experience that feels meaningful to you. “Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely,” she says. “Use the time to reflect, recharge, and engage in activities that bring you joy.”

When to Seek Professional Help

If you’re feeling overwhelmed to the point where it’s interfering with your daily life, or if you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness, it’s important to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors can provide tools and strategies for managing your emotions, and sometimes medication may be helpful.

Dr. Rosenthal emphasizes that reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. “The holidays are hard for many people,” he says. “There’s no shame in seeking support to help you get through them.”

Conclusion

The holidays may never be perfect, but they don’t have to be a source of dread, either. By setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and leaning on support systems, you can navigate the season with more resilience and joy. Remember: It’s okay to put yourself first and redefine what the holidays mean to you.

So take a deep breath, let go of unrealistic expectations, and embrace the season for what it is—messy, imperfect, but also full of opportunities to connect, reflect, and grow. You’ve got this.