Dear Dave,

We would just like for you to know that we commend you on your efforts to prepare your city for our December 21st “End of the World” celebration.

We have always admired your work in trying to demolish a perfectly healthy building by claiming that a simple roof leak or a crack in the concrete are reasons alone to convert this iconic facility into rubble. But we are equally thrilled to have read in the Evansville Courier & Press today where you are now shutting down Mesker Amphitheatre over a minor $100,000 paint and mold repair bill. We appreciate you spending these last two years reversing all of the work SMG has done on these two facilities.

As a civilization that specializes in collapsing cultures and cities as quickly as possible, we are very pleased in the work that your former boss, Mr. Weinzapfel, has done with your city’s sewer system and Executive Inn. All of that rubble stacked up as high as the sky on Walnut brought tears of joy to our eyes. It reminds us of what our city and civilization looked like shortly before vanishing from Central Mexico due to an unsustainable way of life.

To commemorate the hard work you and your allies have put into prepping Evansville for December 21st, we have now slapped a “Made in Evansville” sticker on our Mayan Ruins. When tourists and guests visit our Mayan Ruins, they will be told about the great work you have done on Roberts Stadium, Mesker Amphitheatre, the Civic Center, and even the brand new Ford Center.

We would also like for you to know that you will not need to worry about Bosse Field as we already have the city and the ECVB fighting all development and ball field projects around it. You also won’t need to worry about the McCurdy as your former boss has done an excellent job getting the lawn, the entrance, and the structure as a whole ready for December 21st.

Lastly, after reviewing the work you have done on the entrance to the brand new Ford Center, we are giving serious consideration to moving our “End of the World” celebration up a few months from December 21st. We never thought you would have been able to get the Ford Center ready for our celebration as quickly as you have Dave.

December 21st will soon be here. The end of the world and civilization as we know it is near…. Thanks to you Dave!

Your Friends,

The Mayans

(Note: This letter is complete satire and fiction and should not be taken as an actual letter from the Mayans or as a notice of the end of the world.)

Source: Jordan Baer

IS IT TRUE another Evansville landmark has fallen into such a state of disrepair that it is being shut down?…that it has been rumored for days that this was coming but no one really believed that for lack of $100,000 that Mesker Amphitheatre would be allowed to go fallow and continue to deteriorate?…we must repeat that this is not a facility that floods and needs several million dollars of remodeling to function?…that what Mesker apparently needs is a good coat of paint, some rot repair, and some mold remediation?…that letting a classic facility like Mesker get to the point that it is abandoned to rot down for lack of $100,000 in the budget is just one more insult to the people of Evansville who dutifully pay the taxes they are asked to pay and are rewarded with non-working sewers, needles in the park, and now the abandonment of Mesker?..it has been suggested that it may pose a financial threat to the $127 Million Ford Center so it must go?…we wonder what is next for the wrecking ball?…it is a good thing the movie theatres in town are privately owned or the City of Evansville would let them deteriorate too?

IS IT TRUE that 5% of the funds needed to keep Mesker open for the summer could have been raised if City Council members John Friend, Missy Mosby, and Jonathan Weaver along with County Commissioners Joe Kiefer and Marsha Abell would have kept their butts at home instead of spending about $1,000 each to travel to Savannah, GA on a Chamber of Commerce junket?…some of the attendees tell us that one thing learned in Savannah about how they do economic development is that agencies such as GAGE are not supported by public dollars?…that the cover story for this trip is that they were learning how to retain “young educated professionals”?…there were two seminars given in Evansville in 2008 and 2009 that laid the case out very well on how to keep young educated professionals?…that public officials including Mayor Weinzapfel attended these events yet after the events NOT A THING THAT WAS RECOMMENDED WAS DONE?…there are some books on this subject by an author named Richard Florida that address this subject in depth?…they are available at the Library right across the street from the empty lot where a downtown hotel should be?…that if these five elected officials were that interested in the subject they could have read those books for free?…if they want to justify their junket they should do so with results over the next couple of years as opposed to a lamely rationalized reason like “learning how to retain young educated professionals”?…Evansville is not even producing enough good jobs to retain old educated professionals and hasn’t for years?

IS IT TRUE if the Chamber of Commerce and the elected officials driving this bus called Evansville toward a cliff really want to take a trip to a town that is making improvements they should borrow a school bus, fill up the gas tank, and head 30 miles east to Owensboro, KY?…that Owensboro during the last 5 years has demolished the old Executive Inn and attracted 2 new hotels to replace it?…that Owensboro is home to 13 competition grade ball fields and attracts national tournaments?…that rumor has it those ball fields cost less than $3 Million?…that Owensboro is about finished with a new and functional river front park with a permanent outdoor farmer’s market?…that every Friday night during the summer Owensboro has a Friday After 5 concert series that draws thousands of people to the riverfront?… since 1960 Evansville’s population has shrunk by 20% and that at the same time Owensboro’s population has grown by 34%?…that in 52 years ago Evansville was 250% larger than Owensboro and at the present rates of growth in 52 years Owensboro will be passing Evansville in population?…that our leaders might learn something about retaining people from Owensboro too?…that one of the things that retains professionals young and old is good entertainment?…that our friends at the Chamber should schedule their bus trip on a Friday night during the summer?…that if they want a seat they had better get there by 5 for a concert that starts at 6?

UPDATE

IS IT TRUE that people on the Chamber of Commerce trip to Savannah, GA have called the CCO and told us that County Commissioners Marsha Abell and Joe Kiefer are also in Savannah on taxpayer dollars?

IS IT TRUE May 17, 2012

IS IT TRUE

that the Evansville Icemen are having a press conference this morning to officially announce that they are moving up in the pecking order of professional hockey leagues below the NHL?…that as the CCO has said all along, any winning sport will sell tickets in Evansville if those tickets are affordable?…the ownership of the Icemen is doing a good job of putting a good product on the ice and competing for championships?…as long as that combination of winning and good entertainment continues the Icemen will prosper?

IS IT TRUE the Chamber of Commerce of Southwest Indiana chartered a plane to take local movers and shakers to Savannah, GA to learn what Evansville can do to become more Savannah like?…that the fee to make this trip is slightly north of $900?…that Evansville City Council members Missy Mosby, Jonathan Weaver, and John Friend are on this trip?…that the City of Evansville is picking up the tab for their travel?…that is nearly $3,000 of taxpayer dollars that are being spent to send these elected officials to Savannah, GA to learn how Evansville can emulate the economic successes of Savannah?…that we are sitting on pins and needles to hear how Evansville is going to put in a deep water ocean port, become a tourist Mecca for southern culture, and establish a world renowned college of design?…that we also hear that the First Lady of Evansville Carol McLintock made the trip but do not think that the City of Evansville is paying her tab?…that the cast of characters on this trip will certainly become friendly toward one another which will compromise the budget process when it comes time for other people on the trip to come before the City Council hat in hand?

IS IT TRUE yesterday was the day when Ted Ziemer, the attorney for the Office of the Mayor was supposedly going to meet with the legal team representing Earthcare Energy to search for an elegant way out of this most un-elegant rock and a hard place?…that just a minimal VETTING effort would have prevented a need for this meeting to have ever taken place?…that we hope that some of the travelers to Savannah will bring up the process of VETTING and will take a few notes on that subject between bites of well seasoned southern food and sips of Southern Comfort?…there is nothing like a taxpayer funded trip to a resort location to stimulate the senses to learn new things?…that Savannah, GA and Evansville have about as much in common as the north pole and Miami?

IS IT TRUE tomorrow morning Facebook will make its debut on the public stock markets with a valuation of over $100 Billion?…that it was reported yesterday that over 1,000 employees of Facebook just in the San Francisco Bay Area will become instant millionaires?…that upon the sale of any of the shares that make these people millionaires the federal government and the State of California stand to rake in huge sums of money in the form of income taxes?…that the co-founder of Facebook has renounced his American citizenship and become a citizen Singapore that has ZERO capital gains taxes?…that the taxes saved by this individual are estimated to be over $1 Billion?…that he says it is not about taxes and to that we say BULL?…that at the end of World War II, Singapore was about the size of Evansville on a similar land mass as Vanderburgh County?…that strong leadership, a good plan, and favorable taxation rates have made Singapore into a world class economic engine with one of the cleanest and safest places in the world and a population of over 3 million?…that all of America can learn from the economic success of Singapore?