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A 2014 Gift of the Magi

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A giant Manhattan penthouse and a summer home in the Hamptons. That was all. There was nothing Sabrina could do but plop onto her designer couch and cry.
Christmas was a week away, but Sabrina didn’t have enough money to buy the one gift her husband, Beckett, had dreamed of: hair transplants.
Beckett, meanwhile, had been desperate to scrape $20,000 together to buy Sabrina the Christmas gift she longed for: saline implants.
But money was tight. True, their fortunes had improved dramatically since the economic collapse of 2008. As the housing bubble burst and a massive correction rippled through the world’s economies, Sabrina found herself out of work.
Beckett also lost his job in 2008. As an investment banker at a large New York firm, his risky investments, and occasional illegal dealings, lost billions for his employer. It’s amazing he wasn’t in jail.
As the massive flow of commission checks and bonuses halted, Sabrina and Beckett lost their penthouse and summer home to foreclosure.
“It’s not fair!” said Sabrina, sobbing.
Fortunately, Sabrina and Beckett would not suffer for long — because Wall Street would not suffer for long.
Wall Street banks were too big to fail, after all — their failure would have sent the economy into an unimaginable tailspin that would have had an effect greater than the Great Depression.
The Federal Reserve began buying up the bad debt the banks were holding — or laundering that bad debt, as some economists refer to it — essentially whitewashing the many bad business decisions, some of them criminal, that the bankers had made.
Former Federal Reserve official Andrew Huszar, who managed the Fed’s $1.25 trillion mortgage-backed-security buying spree, explained in The Wall Street Journal that the Fed’s “quantitative easing” (QE) has been enriching Wall Street bankers at the expense of the public.
“The central bank continues to spin QE as a tool for helping Main Street. But I’ve come to recognize the program for what it really is: the greatest backdoor Wall Street bailout of all time … . The banks hadn’t just benefited from the lower cost of making loans. They’d also enjoyed huge capital gains on the rising values of their securities holdings and fat commissions from brokering most of the Fed’s QE transactions.”
Sabrina and Beckett surely benefited from the Wall Street windfall.
Beckett was soon making huge commissions and bonuses as an investment banker. Sabrina was soon making big commissions, too, selling real estate to wealthy bankers.
The two had almost made a full recovery to regain their lavish, pre-2008 lifestyle. But since their credit hadn’t yet fully recovered, they had to make sizable down payments to buy back their penthouse and summer home. That is why they lacked the funds for Christmas gifts.
But then Sabrina got an idea. She knew a mortgage broker and appraiser who could overstate the value of her penthouse so she could get an inflated home-equity loan!
When Christmas Eve arrived, Sabrina explained to Beckett how she was able to secure the money she needed to pay for his hair transplants.
Beckett began laughing uncontrollably.
“What is so funny?” said Sabrina.
“You didn’t need to borrow against the penthouse,” he said. “My bank did so well this year, my bonus was big enough to pay for your saline implants!”
“Oh, Beckett!”
Suddenly, Sabrina noticed something different about her husband’s male-pattern baldness: It was gone!
“What happened to your hair?” she said.
“My bonus was so big, I had enough to fly to Beverly Hills to have my hair implants done!”
Sabrina and Beckett laughed at all the unnecessary trouble Sabrina had gone through the previous week.
It was a Merry Christmas after all.
—–
©2014 Tom Purcell. Tom Purcell, author of “Misadventures of a 1970’s Childhood” and “Comical Sense: A Lone Humorist Takes on a World Gone Nutty!” is a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review humor columnist and is nationally syndicated exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. For info on using this column in your publication or website, contact Sales@cagle.com or call (805) 969-2829. Send comments to Tom at Purcell@caglecartoons.com.

Vanderburgh County Recent Booking Reports

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SPONSORED BY DEFENSE ATTORNEY IVAN ARNAEZ.
DON’T GO TO COURT ALONE. CALL IVAN ARNAEZ @ 812-424-6671.

http://www.vanderburghsheriff.com/recent-booking-records.aspx

EPD Activity Report December 14, 2014

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SPONSORED BY DEFENSE ATTORNEY IVAN ARNAEZ.
DON’T GO TO COURT ALONE. CALL IVAN ARNAEZ @ 812-424-6671.

EPD Activity Report

 

ST. MARY’S WELLNESS CENTER TO OFFER COUPLE’S SOCIAL DANCING

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St. Mary’s Wellness Center at Epworth Crossing will present three different opportunities for a great date night.

Couple’s Social Dancing will be offering Night Club Two-Step Level Two, East Coast Swing Level One, and West Coast Swing Level One beginning in January and February. The classes are taught by David and Donna Koring, who have been instructors since 2003.

Each class lasts for five weeks and is $65 per couple. Pre-registration is required.
Dates and more information can be found below:

  • Night Club Two-Step Level Two.
    Monday evenings from 7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.
    January 12, 19, 26, and February 2 and 9.
  • East Coast Swing Level One
    Tuesday evenings from 7:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.
    January 13, 20, 27, and February 3 and 10.
  • West Coast Sw

Managing Holiday Stress

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By: Janie Chappell, Deaconess Cross Pointe

Stress and depression can make your holiday miserable. It’s common, particularly among women who are always feeling that they need to be “everything to everyone.” As a result, we neglect our own emotional and even physical well-being. Here are some tips on how to prevent and deal with stress and depression over the holidays.

Exercise
The most important tip in reducing stress is to exercise. Even just a few minutes a day can help eliminate the hormones produced by stress that cause the physical and emotional damage such as: increased blood pressure, heart disease, depression and immune-suppressive-related disorders that range from common cold to cancer. Speaking simply, stress is hard on our bodies and physical activity can help reduce that damage.

Volunteering
Volunteering your time to help others is another good way to lift your spirits and meet other caring people. You can’t help but feel more encouraged when you help someone else. Also, seeing others who are less fortunate than ourselves can help give us a better perspective and help develop a sense of gratitude. Making a gratitude list of all the things that ARE going right can be very beneficial. Some people do it first thing in the morning or at night before going to bed. Being aware of all the things in life that you have to be grateful for can help you change your perspective.

Emotions
It’s important to acknowledge your feelings and not try to pretend they don’t exist. “Stuffing your feelings” only makes them compound and get bigger. Especially if there’s been a big change in the past year that will affect the holidays. The death of a loved one, a divorce, family issues, etc. can make the holidays difficult. Finding a support system with whom you can share those feelings without being judged—whether it’s a counselor, close friend, pastor, relative, etc.—can help make the feelings less powerful. Talking about feelings will lessen the impact on you and those around you. Journaling can be very helpful in identifying, channeling and alleviating emotions that are causing stress. Get yourself a designated notebook that you can devote to any kind of feelings and how they are affecting your life.

I’ll suggest “be realistic”—even though that suggestion isn’t always realistic! Norman Rockwell doesn’t show up at my Christmas celebrations every year either. As families evolve and grow, traditions and rituals will change too. For example, as my kids have gotten older and have their own spouses, jobs, etc. and we find it increasingly difficult to get together to do all the things we USED to do. So we now pick and choose traditions that are most important to us. As a mother, I still struggle with that; however, I find that if I can do a gratitude list, it helps me a lot.

Family Conflicts
As far as family conflicts and challenges go, work on accepting people as they are. You know how hard it is to change anything about yourself—accept that you’re not going to be able to change anyone else. If you have some issues or disagreements that DO need to be worked through, save them for another time rather than during a family holiday. Also, cut people some slack. They could be having the same holiday stress too. Much of the time, when people respond out of stress, it’s more about how they’re feeling themselves than how they’re feeling about you, or about anything you did/didn’t do.

Take care of yourself.
I know we already mentioned exercise, but it also goes beyond that. Things like eating healthfully, minimizing sugar and alcohol intake, getting enough rest, and finding time to do the things you enjoy are all important. Enjoying some music, escaping into a good book, etc. can help. Relaxation techniques, which can be as simple as practicing deep breathing when you feel angry or down, taking yourself to a quiet place where you can meditate on a favorite experience or visualizing a special place you’ve been, etc. can help your mood and spirit.

Learn to say no.
Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. You can’t possibly do everything that is asked of you. When you’re asked to do something—whether it’s by a family member or a colleague, sometimes just saying, “Let me think about that and get back to you,” can be helpful. It buys you some time to think about whether you really want to do something or not, and it can help you figure out an acceptable way to say no, if that’s what you decide you want to.

Planning Ahead
The holidays are filled with expectations, certainly….social and financial especially. Plan ahead in terms of what activities and purchases are most important to you—budget your time AND your money. You won’t buy happiness by buying a truckload of gifts. In that same thought, you don’t buy happiness by spreading yourself so thin that you don’t have quality time with anyone you care about. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation if it will take time away from people you really care about. One question you may ask yourself is: “What is the most important use of my time and resources?” Then figure out how to align your actions with your priorities.

If Holiday Stress Becomes Serious
Prolonged stress CAN deplete some brain chemicals that affect mood, which can lead to a major depression. So how do you know if you’ve developed a more serious problem? If for more than 2 weeks you notice a deep sadness every day; you find you can’t gather the energy to take care of your activities of daily living; if you’re crying frequently; eating or sleeping more or less; and/or having thoughts of suicide, you need to talk to your doctor right away. If you’re prone to depression, or have been diagnosed in the past, it is even more important to pay particular attention to these signs and try to act before they become overwhelming.

Some individuals may become extremely depressed or potentially suicidal due to the stresses and emotions of the holidays. If you or someone you know is struggling, please contact your doctor or contact Deaconess Cross Pointe at 812-476-7200 or 800-947-6789, 24 hours per day, 7 days per week—even on the holidays.

Wrapping It Up
The tips above are all things you CAN do to de-stress your holiday season. They may seem overly simplified or possibly unrealistic, but they are do-able! There is no magic answer for anyone. Try different tips to find the right balance for you so that this holiday season is fun of joy, peace, and good health!

If you’d like more information on these or other behavioral health topics contact Janie at 812-471-4521 (direct line) or by calling Cross Pointe 812-476-7200 or 800-947-6789. You may also visit The Deaconess Cross Pointe website.

Pet of the Week

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Hi, I’m Buddy! I’m a 1-and-a-half-year-old male brindle pitbull mix! I’m a very active guy who loves to play. I’d like to meet any other dogs in my potential new home, if there are any! I’ve been at the shelter longer than ANY of the other dogs, most likely just because of my breed. Sometimes I’m pretty energetic in my kennel, so people pass me by, but I’m a loving & well-behaved boy when I’m visiting with people! I’m just as wonderful as all those other breeds! Take me home TODAY for only $100 neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped! www.vhslifesaver.org

50 Tons of Litter and Counting!

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“Wow.” That’s the response I often hear when volunteers see the difference they make in an area after picking up litter.
This January, the Clean Evansville Initiative will be going into its fourth year of cleaning up areas of the city on the first Saturday of each month. Many hours have been spent making the community a more inviting, healthy outdoor environment. All done by an army of dedicated volunteers!
Since the creation of the program, it’s been estimated that almost 50 tons of litter has been collected from areas throughout Evansville; 19 tons of litter was collected in 2012; 15.5 tons in 2013, and this year we have cleaned up 14.3 tons. Our efforts are becoming effective; there is less litter to pick up. On top of less litter in targeted areas, we have encouraged neighborhoods associations and other civic groups to clean areas around them through our program Great American Cleanup—which will kick off March 7th 2015 at Howell Park on Evansville’s West side after our cleanup.
In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need to clean up litter as often as we do. But because we don’t, we encourage people to help in keeping their community clean by not littering. Have pride for the city that you live in!
How can you help? Come to a Clean Evansville event, they are on the first Saturday of each month. Get your friends, family, and neighbors together for a neighborhood cleanup. And please do not litter.
Together, we can solve this problem!
Here are the dates and locations for the 2015 Clean Evansville cleanups:
January 3 Jacobsville Area
February 7 Covert/Green River/Pollack
March 7 Barker Ave/Howell Park
April 4 Anthony Oates Area
May 2 Kratzville/Mill/Ist Ave
June 6 41/Diamond/Fares/Kentucky
July 5 Riverfront/Downtown
August 1 Wesselman Park Area
September 5 Riverside / Kentucky
October 3 Cedar Hall/Fulton—OPERATION HOT MESS
November 7 Washington Ave/Lincoln Ave
December 5 North Green River / Morgan

For more information on the Clean Evansville Initiative, contact Keep Evansville Beautiful or visit www.cleanevansville.org/.

Enrollment for Pilot Pre-K Now Taking Place

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The Evansville Vanderburgh School Corporation is readying to expand its Pre-Kindergarten education program, as it participates in the Indiana “On My Way PreK” pilot program, as one of five counties that were selected to pilot the new initiative set to begin in mid-January 2015.
The EVSC will offer free early childhood education, breakfast, lunches and transportation, for qualifying four year olds and will join other public and private schools, as well as community based programs, licensed centers, registered ministries and licensed programs in homes in the area in this pilot. All providers must meet accreditation standards as identified by the Family and Social Services Administrations, which will administer this pilot.
To participate in the free program, families will need to apply to enroll their children through 4C of Southern Indiana, Inc., 600 SE 6th Street, and select one of the pilot sites in which to attend. In the EVSC, three new classrooms are planned, with an additional four to six by Fall 2015.
“The EVSC has invested in early childhood for over 25 years. We were the leaders in the state with full day kindergarten,” said Cathlin Gray, associate superintendent for Family, School, and Community Partnerships. “We have a team of highly experienced early childhood educators and support staff. This team is being led by our Director of Early Childhood, Terry Green. Gray explained that families will have the opportunity to choose to enroll in classes in the EVSC, which offers a five-hour a day program during the school year beginning in January.
Openings will be available at a variety of locations for students who choose EVSC through this pilot. “We will add a classroom at the Culver Family Learning Center, Evans, and Daniel Wertz and we currently have openings for children at Dexter,” Gray added.
Director of Early Childhood Education Terry Green said, “Early childhood education lays the groundwork for success later in school, but successfully preparing students to enter kindergarten on time and ready to learn.” Green said EVSC focuses on active learning – making learning fun for students, allowing them to explore and providing them new experiences with which to build knowledge.
Currently, the EVSC has fee and non-fee based Pre-K classrooms at Culver Family Learning Center, Daniel Wertz Elementary, Dexter Elementary, Scott Elementary, Cedar Hall Community School, Evans Elementary and Bosse High School.
FSSA is working to implement the major design phases of the program, which include devising plans for the longitudinal study for students, monitoring the design and implementation of a new kindergarten readiness assessment and the program accountability system, establishing guidelines and activation of fundraising activities, and making modifications to interagency IT and staffing infrastructure to support the pilot program.
4C of Southern Indiana will be open especially for families to enroll on Saturday, Dec. 13, from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. For additional information, call 4C at 812-423-4008.

Vanderburgh county Recent Booking Reports

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SPONSORED BY DEFENSE ATTORNEY IVAN ARNAEZ.
DON’T GO TO COURT ALONE. CALL IVAN ARNAEZ @ 812-424-6671.

http://www.vanderburghsheriff.com/recent-booking-records.aspx

Open Forum Weekend. December 13-14

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This is the time for you to express yourself on any issue you want to talk about.  Please keep it clean and don’t get personal.

Thanks

Editor