Tyrades! By Danny Tyree
Sure, we humans like to think of a new year as a blank slate; but deep down we know that history repeats itself. We know that along with the unexpected revelations and unpredictable fads, 2015 will bring us more NFL rap sheets, Facebook privacy settings reconfigurations, fracking debates, “stand somebody else’s ground†military actions, sighs over a “do nothing†Congress, major retailer security breaches and warnings of a comet that may or may not strike in 37 years.
Judging by past performance, I have determined with 95 percent accuracy that you can expect the following “shocking†developments in 2015:
– Archaeologists in Israel discover a thumb-sized fragment of pottery and announce with certainty that Judas Iscariot was in reality (a) the brother-in-law of Jesus, (b) the “love child†of Jesus or (c) a bird-like dinosaur.
– A near-mint copy of “Action Comics†#1 (1938, the first appearance of Superman) sells for an unbelievable amount — and the new owner is dismayed to learn that the ads in the magazine provide waaay better medical advice than Dr. Oz.
– August 17: scientists discover 17 species of invisible fifth-dimensional amphibians that defy all laws of physics. August 21: Al Gore declares, “The science is settled!â€
– Rush Limbaugh causes a stir when the world press erroneously reports that he consoled a grieving little boy by telling him that moderate Republicans can go to heaven.
– Post-trilogy Hobbit withdrawal sets in. Fans petition Peter Jackson to direct a new $200 million epic based loosely on J.R.R. Tolkien’s laundry list.
– Police departments nationwide begin using body cameras to get at the truth about deadly confrontations. Al Sharpton is soon on TV announcing, “I have discovered that one of the screws on the cameras was installed by a person of the Caucasian persuasion. Coincidence? I think not.â€
– Unmarried celebrity couples with less and less commitment to one another will announce the formation of a “baby bump.†2015 may be the year that pairs who haven’t even MET yet will make the announcement. (“Have your people impregnate my people.â€)
– President Obama issues an executive order preventing future presidents from issuing executive orders. (“And they have to hop on one foot when entering my presidential library!â€)
– Google is overloaded when another newsmaker you haven’t given a rat’s rump about in 30 years finally kicks off. (“In my defense, I’ve been sort of busy catching up on ‘Game of Thrones’.â€)
– Magazines continue to publish wild rape allegations. (“Our legal department says this was fully vetted by Elvis and the Tooth Fairy.â€)
– Endangered species slip nearer to extinction because of the black-market quest for folk-remedy aphrodisiacs. (It’s too much to hope that women worldwide will announce, “Not tonight. I’ve got a headache. And I just remembered that my biggest turn-on is moonlit walks on the beach, not pathetic losers who think killing a rare rhino will enhance their prowess.â€)
– Because the opportunities for 15 minutes of fame are dwindling, a computer whiz develops an algorithm that lets you be “the first openly gay (fill-in-the-blank).â€
– Waterboarding and sleep deprivation are discouraged, but the assigning of moronic baby names remains a popular form of torture. (“I don’t know anything about the location of a ticking bomb, but if you DO find it, use it on my parents!â€)
And the surest bet for 2015? Near year’s end, Danny Tyree scrambles for stupid predictions about 2016.
2015: Some Near-Sure Bets For The New Year
Arts Council Announces January Brown Bag Schedule
The Brown Bag Performance Series is a free program offered to the community by the Arts Council of Southwestern Indiana. The series runs weekly from October through April at the Arts Council’s BSF Gallery, located at 318 Main Street in downtown Evansville. The Brown Bag Performance Series is every Wednesday at noon. Summer performances are once a month. It is encouraged to bring your lunch and a friend, and enjoy the free local performances. The Brown Bag Series is made possible in part by the Mesker Music Trust, managed by Fifth Third Investment Advisors. Below is the schedule for January.
1/7/15 – Angelus: Angelus is comprised of seven young women (from the Mt. Vernon Senior High School Fine Arts Academy). Created in 2008, the members of Angelus have dedicated themselves to the performance of sacred music of varied religious traditions and historical periods. Having performed over sixty-five concerts in eleven states, the ensemble returned to San Francisco in June of 2014 to perform a series of concerts in the Bay Area. In February of 2014 the ensemble performed a main stage concert at the ACDA Central Division Conference in Cincinnati.
Angelus will sing sacred a cappella music ranging from medieval to contemporary Irish and American works at the first 2015 Brown Bag Series performance. Composers to be featured include Hildegard von Bingen, Michael McGlynn as well as Patricia Van Ness. The ensemble will release it’s newest recording “Gaudeum” this spring and will tour to Illinois, Wisconsin and Minnesota this summer.
1/14/15 – Harlaxton Quintet: The Harlaxton Quintet is the woodwind quintet-in-residence at the University of Evansville. The quintet has appeared many times in the area in formal concerts as well as in education concerts in area schools. Join us in welcoming a crowd favorite, the Harlaxton Quintet.
1/21/15: Joshua Academy: Joshua Academy is a K-6 chartered public school that operates on a values oriented private school model. By combining a rigorous and challenging curriculum with a nurturing environment, the school has seen remarkable, measurable results in the performance levels of its graduates at this critical stage of their education. The mission of Joshua Academy is to provide a nurturing learning environment that allows children to uniquely develop into well-rounded individuals who can reach their fullest potential. Their vision is to be a holistic, morals-based educational program preparing students to become responsible, caring, and self-sufficient members of our community. Join us in welcoming teacher, Monte Skelton and his students to see what they’ve been working on.
1/28/15: Larry Miller: Larry Miller started his hobby as a musician as a Folk Singer/guitarist in the early sixties. In the mid-sixties he formed a Rock band while a student at Hanover College. In 1975 he’d was a founder member of the Rhein Valley Brass at Germania Maennerchor where he still sings in the choir and performs on Euphonium. In 1984, with his friend, Gina Moore, he launched the Brown Sisters Soul Band. On December 8, 2,000, with his rock band, Electric Larry and the Current he performed a tribute to one of his musical heroes, John Lennon on the 20th anniversary of his death. This became an annual event, which is sponsored by the local chapter of Veterans For Peace.
He took up accordion more recently and occasionally plays in downtown restaurants such as Madelein’s and Angelo’s. And for the last several years he has put together an accordion swing band and an annual Cabaret Show. Miller will be performing music from the 20s, 30s and 40s on accordion and singing in German and English at January’s final performance.
City Government Report Card on the 10 Most Important things for 2011
The City County Observer kicked off 2011 with a reader’s choice of what the most important things that the City of Evansville and Vanderburgh County need to get right in 2011. Well after three full years not all of the actions for 2011 are completed or even started and the results are in. The private part of the public/private partnerships seem to be working but the public part left much to be required.
On a College Scale the City of Evansville Gets a 0.70 on a 4.0 Scale for this Semester.
THE TOP TEN and THE GRADES
D: The 2011 City Elections: What we opined would constitute getting it right is for no more partisan voting block control of the City Council and a split party make-up of independent thinkers. After the primaries we had the potential for exactly what we hoped for. What we got is a continued 8 – 1 Democrat majority just like the previous City Council. Additionally every incumbent running was re-elected and there were 5 which makes a majority. The other item of concern with the City Council is that of the 9 members of next years council a majority have been strongly associated with the puppet strings of “The Machineâ€. The actions and votes of the newly elected City Council will need close scrutiny.
F: An Evansville for the next Decade Plan: Nothing has been done and not one our elected officials has mentioned such a plan. The Winnecke Administration not only neglected to do any planning they spent three years obstructing any future plan from being comprehensive of nature even announcing silly schemes galore without identification of a funding source. They even extended the note snuck to Earthcare Energy to after next years election with no prospect ever to be paid back.
C: Civic Beautification: There have also been several quite visible efforts by Mayor Lloyd Winnecke for mobilizing private litter removal programs and sometimes it shows.
C: The Hiring of a new Executive Director for the Evansville Convention and Visitors Bureau: Mission accomplished CVB Board and the plus is for doing the right thing with respect to the rotten circumstances surrounding the departure of Marilee Fowler. While Mr. Warren started this job with an eye for value, he eventually gave in on the ball fields and has become a cheerleader for a downtown hotel that can’t get out of its own way.
F: CSO Plan for EPA: One delay after another and a debt level nearing its limit has the people of Evansville poised to be paying the highest water bills in the nation due to governments failure to be proactive instead of obstructing the timely mitigation of our continued environmental disaster.
F: The MLK Entertainment Complex: Another failure to close a deal on a hotel and the deceitful cover ups to hide the fact could not have been done in a more unprofessional and inept way. If there were a lower grade than an F it would be deserved. The decoy backhoe below the bridge to nowhere inside the expensive fence says it all about ignorance and slight of hand.
C: Mental Health Services Improved: Coroner Annie Groves gets good marks for initiating an awareness campaign. The end result is still a C because the suicide rate has improved.
F: Pay Scales: Not a darn thing has been done to make the pay scales of the City of Evansville competitive. As it is time to start the process of replacing some senior positions and transforming the City of Evansville’s attitude toward its customers the paltry state of the official pay scales will soon be quite apparent.
F: Consolidated Government: This initiative failed at the ballot box because the committee that was in charge was condescending and presumptuous. They also had no benefit articulated to attract a win in either the city or the county. Their entitlement attitude to an affirmative vote was sickening.
F: Smoking Ordinance Revisited: The Evansville City Council passed an ordinance that was ruled unconstitutional. Enough said. Utter and complete failure. Welcome to the dark ages.
Please take time and vote in todays “Readers Poll”.
Copyright 2014 City County Observer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
IS IT TRUE DECEMBER 26, 2014
IS IT TRUE we hear from extremely creditable sources that a possible Democratic candidate for Mayor of Evansville will have a couple of political heavy hitters joining her campaign team if she decides to run?  …if State Representative Gail Riecken decides to run for Mayor she will be naming two outstanding individuals to be her campaign Chairman and Treasurer?  …we hear that a group of Conservatives Republicans are talking about organizing a “Republicans For Riecken for Mayor Committee if she decides to run for Mayor? …more details will be forthcoming in the first part of January,  2015?
IS IT TRUE that Tom Bozikis, Vice President of the Tri-State Better Business Bureau will challenge City Councilman Dan McGinn for the 1st Ward seat? ….we are very impressed with Mr. Bozikis political stance that “the government that governs best governs leastâ€? … we find Mr. Bozikis’ political views are in line with traditional Conservative Republican values of governance? … we totally agree with Mr. Bozikis statement that he believes business should be less regulated by government so the free market can regulate itself?  …he also believes that the free market can take care of itself through self regulation.?
IS IT TRUE that 1st Ward City Council candidate Bozikis also plans to reduce city government spending and lower local taxes, where possible?.  … Mr. Bozilis  believes that tax cuts would have to be done carefully so that all necessary services that protect the city and improve infrastructure would remain intact?
IS IT TRUE we are hearing that some members of the area Libertarian and Teaparty groups are seriously  considering supporting Mr. Bozilis over tax and spend City Councilmen Dan McGinn?
Please take time and vote in todays “Readers Poll”.
Copyright 2014 City County Observer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
Police, Public & The Power of “Thank Youâ€
Sgt. Dan Mawhorr is a 21 year veteran of the Indiana State Police that started his career on December 20, 1993. Yesterday, Christmas Eve, Sgt. Mawhorr was working as the Post Commander (PC) of the Ft. Wayne Indiana State Police Post when he received what indirectly turned out to be a Happy Employment Anniversary thank you card from members of the Ft. Wayne community, Flo & Dan Mauch.
Sgt. Mawhorr was so moved by this gesture he shared Mr. & Mrs. Mauch’s card, along with his own personal message of thanks, with every member of the Indiana State Police.
I thought the Mauch’s card, as well as Sgt. Mawhorr’s message, was worthy of sharing. I hope you think so as well and will pass on this “Thank You.â€
Sgt. Mawhorr’s note:
To all sworn and civilian employees,
As I sit here at Fort Wayne PC, an older gentleman came in and I asked him if I could help him. The man just handed me a small envelope containing a homemade card. He just stated that he wanted to thank “us†for everything we do. This made me think, with all the bad press we have been getting we don’t hear from the people who do appreciate us. The news doesn’t report that because it is not news worthy. So I wanted everyone on the department to see this card. I also want to express my sincere thanks to all of our civilian workers. We as officers usually get all the praise; however without all the hard work that our non-sworn employees do, the officers would not be able to do their jobs. I don’t think the general public understands all the “behind the scene†work that is being done for the officers. I don’t want to insult anyone and miss a job description of our civilian employees, so I will just say THANK YOU to everyone for all you do for the sworn employees.
As the card states, “These are difficult times for our Law Enforcement Officers.†I just want everyone to keep their heads up with pride and continue to do what WE all do. Watch out for each other because there are persons who want to do us harm. Continue to work the way you were trained and block out the press. Enjoy the time with your family and friends; hug your loved ones a little longer when you can. This is a wonderful time of year. And remember that there are a lot more people that embrace what we do compared to the ones who want to cause us harm.
May we all be blessed and protected,
Respectfully, Dan
Sgt. Dan Mawhorr
20141225a Thank You Card.pdf
Vanderburgh County Recent Booking Reports
SPONSORED BY DEFENSE ATTORNEY IVAN ARNAEZ.
DON’T GO TO COURT ALONE. CALL IVAN ARNAEZ @ 812-424-6671.
http://www.vanderburghsheriff.com/recent-booking-records.aspx
2 Associates Join Evansville Firm
Matthew D. Malcolm and Aaron Courey Trump have joined Kahn Dees Donovan & Kahn LLP as associates. Malcolm (left) serves on the firm’s business law, economic development law, real estate law, and creditors’ rights and collections practice teams. Trump primarily focuses his practice on education, and labor and employment law.
ST. MARY’S TO HOLD RIBBON CUTTING CEREMONY & COMMUNITY OPEN HOUSE FOR NEW URGENT CARE BOONVILLE
A blessing and ribbon cutting ceremony for Urgent Care Boonville will be held Tuesday, January 13th at 10:00 a.m.
Conveniently located on Liberty Boulevard, just in front of the Boonville Walmart, Urgent Care Boonville provides high quality supplemental care for those times when a physician’s office is closed or unable to provide an immediate appointment. This comfortable, state-of-the-art facility was built around the goal of providing patients with the most convenient and personalized care possible and will offer family medical care from Pediatric to Geriatric.
Services will include:
• On-site stat lab
• On-site digital x-ray
• School and sport physicals
• Treatment of infections
• Treatment of acute injuries, illnesses and minor emergencies
• Urine drug screens
• Occupational medicine services
• Procedure room and specialized pediatric room
• Immunizations
• TB testing
• Allergy injections
• Flu vaccines
• Laceration repair
• Physicians board-certified in family medicine and internal medicine
Additionally, a community open house and grand opening celebration will be held Saturday, January 17, from 9 – 11 a.m. The community is invited to take a tour of our facility and enter to win an iPhone 6. More details to come.
Pet of the Week
Misha is a 3-year-old female pitbull mix! She came from a family that was moving, and could not take her with them (likely because she’s a pitbull.) She has a WONDERFUL temperament and would be great with kids of all ages! Misha will go home spayed, microchipped, and vaccinated for only $100! Visit www.vhslifesaver.org to download an adoption application!