Gavel Gamut

(Week of 17 August 2015)

TESTS

If you visited this column last week, you may recall the topic has been friendship. Since the days of ancient Greece and the legend of Damon and Pythias or Charles Dickens’ (1812 – 1870) A Tale of Two Cities in which the character Sydney Carton died for his rival, Charles Darnay, in order to protect Carton’s beloved Lucie Manette, humans have examined how we can know if someone truly is our friend.

There are many ways one may analyze whether someone is that person’s true friend. For example, if our friend wins the lottery, are we truly happy for them or do we yell, “Why not me?”

Or if our friend’s lawn looks like a golf course while ours houses an armada of moles, do we congratulate our friend while we secretly curse Mother Nature?

Friendship has a long memory. Have we truly forgiven our friend from high school for taking to the prom that girl we never quite got up the courage to ask? And, what about our friends’ success in business? Are we really happy for them or is there a knawing green monster roiling around in our livers?

Well, you can come up with your own test of true friendship. However, one sure test involves our funeral; who will come and what will they say?

Tom Sawyer attended his funeral and found it a bully experience to hear all his sins glossed over while his few virtues were exalted.

In the Irish movie, Waking Ned Devine, Jackie O’Shea gets to tell his great friend, Michael Sullivan, how he truly feels about him at what appears to be Michael’s funeral. Fortunately, Michael is sitting in a front pew listening.

Let’s contemplate our funerals. Who will care enough to come? Will there be heartfelt sentiments in words and song sent from afar? What grand accomplishments will our true friends stand up and tell to the world? Who will eulogize us? Who will sing and dance and recite poems in our honor?

Perhaps most people have this funeral thing out of order. What good is a funeral to us if we miss out on all the accolades? Instead of dying in doubt, perhaps, if life gives us the opportunity to do so, it is best to join in the celebration while we can appreciate who our true friends are.

Of course, another good reason for having one’s funeral before it is needed is because it can be by invitation only. This, along with one’s presence in the front row, can help assure there will be toasting, not roasting!