By Tom Purcell

“You almost got fired because your company had a holiday party? You’re going to have to explain.”

“Look, where I come from, we call holiday parties ‘Christmas parties.’ Nobody told me I was supposed to avoid anything relating to our country’s Christmas tradition.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, the owners of my company threw our holiday party after work one evening. Thanks to me and the boys in the sales department, the adult beverages were flowing. That’s when the Human Resources director threatened to can me.”

“You were unaware that many organizations no longer serve alcoholic beverages due to liability issues and the fact that some religions and cultures are offended by the consumption of alcohol?”

“That’s right. As far as I was concerned, we were having a normal Christmas party. That’s why I brought a Christmas tree.”

“You didn’t.”

“Look, I figured everybody would love it, but HR threatened to fire me if I didn’t remove it. HR said I was creating a hostile work environment by being insensitive to people of other faiths – that even though the Supreme Court ruled that a Christmas tree is a secular symbol, the only acceptable tree would be a ‘diversity tree’ that represented everybody’s point of view. But then I got into trouble again.”

“What did you do next?”

“Well, me and the boys in sales had gotten pretty well oiled before HR took our hooch away, and we love to sing when we’re liquored up. We started singing Christmas carols like ‘Silent Night,’ ‘Hark! The Herald Angels Sing’ and ‘The First Noel.’ We were working our way through the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ when HR called me in again and complained that the Christmas carols we sang were offensive to members of the staff who were non-Christians. She said I’d better knock it off or she’d process my pink slip.”

“You didn’t knock it off, though, did you?”

“Nope. You see, me and the boys in sales slipped outside to have a few more snorts of whiskey, and when we got back, one of the hottest ladies in Accounting walked into the room. You wouldn’t believe some of the clothing she wears to work – or, to be more precise, the clothing she doesn’t wear.”

“Please don’t tell me there was mistletoe.”

“How’d you guess? The boys bet me 20 bucks I could coax her under the mistletoe and give her a little peck. Silver-tongued devil that I am, I began commenting on how great she looked in her scanty duds when – ”

“HR threatened to fire you?”

“Bingo. The Accounting babe dresses like a pop star and I’m the one who gets into trouble for commenting on her lack of clothing? I don’t get it.”

“I read about similar Christmas office-party woes in several news reports. As our workforce has become more diverse – Americans have so many different social styles, religions and points of view these days – more companies are no longer sure how to handle Christmas events.”

“My company handled it by taking all the fun out of Christmas.”

“Well, in our lawsuit-crazy world, companies are afraid to serve alcohol. And their fear of being insensitive to people of diverse faiths and points of view is the reason many are abandoning traditional Christmas parties in favor of dull, generic, daytime events. Though you have to admit you were awfully boorish and brash at your Christmas party.”

“I admit it. But me and the boys in sales have been boorish and brash every year. It’s just that nowadays, HR will threaten to fire you for it.”

Unemployment Cut in Half Since Governor Pence Took Office

Indianapolis – Vice President-elect Governor Mike Pence today issued the following statement as Indiana’s unemployment rate fell once again in November and now stands at 4.2 percent. The November decrease marks a 4.2 percent decrease in unemployment since January 2013 – exactly half that of the state’s unemployment rate when Governor Pence assumed office.

“November’s employment numbers reflect the successful policies and fiscal management that have been hallmarks of this administration over the last four years, including balanced budgets, low taxes and healthy reserves,” said Vice President-elect Governor Mike Pence. “While cutting taxes and red tape, we have also committed to investing in workforce development and advancing the vibrancy of our communities. This focus on economic development and hardworking Hoosiers has produced record employment and investment in Indiana over the last few years which, I have no doubt, will be carried forward in the future under the leadership of Governor-elect Eric Holcomb.”

Background
The Indiana unemployment rate stands at 4.2 percent. Since January 2013, Indiana’s private sector has grown by more than 168,000 jobs. Indiana’s total private employment has grown by 36,500 jobs so far this year. Total private employment is now at 2,660,900. The highest levels of growth occurred in the following sectors: Professional and Business Services, Financial Activities and Manufacturing. November is the 17^th consecutive month that Indiana has recorded private-sector employment above the March 2000 peak.

WEATHER WARNING:  Be Prepared for Tonight’s Weather as Freezing Road Conditions are Anticipated

Indianapolis – While southern Indiana may have basked with temperatures in the mid 60’s, it has been a different story for the Central Northern portions of Indiana. Since starting our tally of calls yesterday evening at 10:00 p.m. through 2:00 p.m. this afternoon, the Indiana State Police has responded to more than 380 property damage crashes, more than 60 injury crashes and a total of two fatal crashes. We have also responded to over 150 slide offs as well as more than an additional 150 motorist assists. Now, as we look at weather forecasts calling for freezing rain in central Indiana, we urge the public to heed the warnings and to not travel unless there is a dire need involving some type of legitimate emergency.

State Police, as well as city and county police agencies across central Indiana, along with emergency medical personnel and State Highway personnel, will be responding to calls for medical emergencies, injury crashes and crashes that involve lane blockage and road closures throughout central Indiana over the next 12 to 24 hours.

Please remember, If involved in a minor crash where the vehicles are still drivable, state law requires they be moved to a safe area off the road. Once moved, exchange information with the other involved driver and take photos for your insurance company. State police and other law enforcement agencies will not respond to property damage crashes during extreme weather conditions.

If you have to drive due to an emergency, or you choose to ignore the warning to not travel, then you should ensure the following:
Your vehicle is in good mechanical condition
Your vehicle has a full tank of fuel
You have a charged cell phone and are capable of keeping it charged in your vehicle
You inform friends and family of your route of travel and expected arrival time and keep them informed if you are delayed
You should have an emergency kit in your car inclusive of at least these items:
Non-perishable food
A candle, matches or lighter
Shovel and abrasives such as driveway salt or sand
Extra clothing and blanket or sleeping bag
Emergency road side triangles, fuses or other emergency lighting device
It is not possible to “over prepare” for an automobile trip, no matter the distance, when weather conditions are expected to be extremely adverse, as recently forecasted.

Finally, please do not call the state police posts or other police agencies to ask about road conditions. The best source for local road and weather information is your favorite TV news or radio station. Odds are that just looking out the window of your home will give you a good idea of your local conditions.

FOOTNOTES: Additional winter preparedness tips for Hoosiers can be found at http://www.in.gov/dhs/3311.htm. Road conditions are accessible at http://indot.carsprogram.org/main.jsf. For up-to-date county travel statuses, Hoosiers are encouraged to visit http://www.in.gov/dhs/traveladvisory/.