WHITEWALL TIRES OF SOCIALISM
BY BILL HAZELIP
VANDERBURGH COUNTY
Smitty remembers the good ole days. When the houses were different, people dressed differently, even the mail boxes were different. Then came this political “cure all” called Socialism. All of the people were suppose to look alike, think a like, and have the same income. We were suppose to be “middle class” my late grand-daddy would have called us poor, but since we all had the same style of living, how could we be poor! But I remembered, ole Grand-daddy gave me a set of white wall tires. I remember him saying, “nothing dresses up your old Plymouth more than white wall tires.”
It was Sunday afternoon, I decided to put the Plymouth in the garage and get the old white walls out of the attic. I put the white walls on the Plymouth, wow did they look sharp! Monday morning I slowly drove down the street to work. I was hoping people would see my white wall tires. Sure enough, people seen the white walls. It was about five O’clock, I had just got home and there was this knock on the door. Two people a male and a female said, “we understand you have white wall tires on your car, we are from the Government and you cannot have white wall tires on your car, when all of the neighbors have black ones!” The Government man said “we must have equality!” So, I said, “what if I took the white walls off of the passenger side?”
The Government people look at each other and said, “that will probably work.”
The next morning, I chose a different route to work, I even went into a even more poor neighborhood. I got home around five 0’clock and there was a knock on the door, and sure enough there were these two Government workers with the same complaint! So I said, “well I might as well use the old tires, I will just put the tires with the white wall inside, that way no one will see the whitewalls” Several days passed with no complaints. Since it had been sometime since I had the oil and grease job on the old Plymouth changed, I decided to have the car serviced. It was about five 0’clock in the evening, and here was this knock on the door! This time there were three people, the two Government employees and the auto serviceman!
And that’s Socialism!
