ERSATZ WAR By Jim Redwine

Gavel Gamut
By Jim Redwine

ERSATZ WAR

Sony produced a tasteless film whose plot was the assassination of the President of North Korea, Kim Jong Un. They billed it as a comedy. I say hooray for Sony! Assassination by movie is certainly better than assassination by drones. With a movie, not only are there no innocent bystanders killed, there isn’t anyone killed. The same is true of North Korea’s response to the movie; hack, don’t attack.

For thousands of years humans have dreamed of the end of war. Now, thanks to Sony and the hackers in North Korea, who prophetically call themselves “The Guardians of Peace”, we have a way to have a war without death and destruction. No longer need a country send its soldiers off to war with the mission to “kill and break” things. The new mission can be to kill hypothetically and die without bloodshed.

Many societies have tried to limit warfare, such as jousting by one king’s champion against another king’s champion. Even the Hebrews and Philistines held conflict to a match between David and Goliath.

But Sony and North Korea have finally perfected the age-old dream.

Of course, all any country cares about in any war is winning. As General Douglas MacArthur said, “In war, there is no substitute for victory”.

As a patriotic American I assert we have the capacity to win every battle in this new cyber warfare. When I am driving I see practically every other driver doing what I am normally doing, talking on a cell phone.

And when it comes to texting, American teenagers must be on the cutting edge of wonder weapons such as iPhones. I have seen many of our teenagers texting one another when standing side by side.

I say to the hackers of North Korea and every other potential belligerent: be careful, American thumbs are lethal.

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