A Foxworthy tribute to Evansville: by Brains Benton

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Brains Benton

A Foxworthy tribute to Evansville

If you can remember train tracks…… running down the middle….. of your city’s major east-west thoroughfare……. you just might be from Evansville Indiana

If your city’s Fathers decided to move your city’s major North South road a couple hundred yards east tearing down homes and ripping up neighborhoods to speed up traffic flow and then installed 31 traffic lights on that road….. you just might be from Evansville.

If you built an “Expressway” with stop lights on it….. you just might be from Evansville

If your mayor changed the flow of traffic in your downtown to increase economic development…
you just might be from Evansville

If your only experience eating Chinese food is from a buffet… you just might be from Evansville

If you haven’t been to the opposite side of town in over three years… you just might be from Evansville

If you will park and walk 10 blocks to go eat greasy food at your town’s fall festival but want parking right next door to your local stadium you just might be from Evansville

If Jay Leno made fun of your town for being fat and miserable…. You just might be from Evansville

If you drive to Nashville TN, Louisville KY, and St. Louis MO to shop or take a cross country flight because it’s quicker and easier than driving to your state’s capital…. You just might be from Evansville

If your town/county proposed a consolidation of government but excluded the police and fire departments….. your just might be from Evansville

If your political leaders party affiliations has nothing to do with their political ideology…. You just might be from Evansville

If you think a town of 100,000 is too small to support two stadiums but think it is large enough to support five downtown hotels…. You just might be from Evansville

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17 COMMENTS

  1. If your mayor can do a chicken fat dance while picking up garbage….you may be from Evansville

  2. If your mayor bypasses the city council and lends $200,000 to a fly by night company, you might be from Evansville.

  3. If your town can’t balance its finances for two plus years…you might be from Evansville.

  4. If you can’t walk more than 2 blocks without finding a meth lab…you might be from Evansville.

  8. If you have never been allowed to vote on a publicly financed multimillion dollar construction project…..You might be from Evansville.

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    • If your museum leaves an original Picasso in its basement for 50 years because no one could read the signature…

      • Who says it was in the basement all that time? It might have been on someone’s wall. We will never know.

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      • Evansville Courier & Press

        ARTS BEAT: Auction house still canvassing collectors to bring best price for Evansville Museum’s Picasso

        By Roger McBain

        Saturday, August 17, 2013

        So, what’s happening with the Picasso?

        It’s a question I’ve heard and asked regularly over the year since the Evansville Museum’s board of directors announced plans to offer for sale a rare work of lighted, fused glass art by Pablo Picasso that sat in storage among the museum’s collections for almost a half-century before its discovery.

        The last time I asked Mary Bower, the museum’s interim director, she laughed and said, “We’re wondering the same thing.”

        A full year after offering for sale the illuminated, fused glass version of Picasso’s “Seated Woman with Red Hat,” Guernsey’s Auctions, the New York company whose queries alerted the museum to the potential value of the piece, hasn’t sold the art yet, says Arlan Ettinger, the auction house’s president.

        That’s no cause for concern, however, Ettinger said. The auction house intends to sell it privately, outside of the auction setting, he said in a telephone interview.

        Because the fused, illuminated glass technology remains a rare art form, “there’s an education process that’s part of what we’re doing to find the right buyer,” Ettinger said. “It does take time, and this is not unusual at all.”

        In past interviews, he has offered estimates of $30 million to $40 million for the piece, he acknowledged, but “that was probably early on.” In fact, it’s impossible to predict what price “Seated Woman with Red Hat” might bring, Ettinger said. “It’s what the market will bear.”

        So how much longer might it take to find a buyer? “We have interested people right now,” Ettinger said, “but we’ve been there before. Whether this will bear fruit remains to be seen.”

        Whether a sale comes soon or later, “we remain very optimistic that we’ll be able to come to you with good news” he said, “and then that news will travel, I’m sure, around the world.”

        • This is such a crock! The piece should have been sold at public auction to the highest bidder over its reserve price.

          Something smells rotten here.

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  9. If you have democrats telling you we can’t manage two arenas when they couldn’t manage two fall festival booths….

    If you a convention & visitors director tell you at hotel meeting after hotel meeting how badly the city needs to bring tourists into downtown only to build his ball fields as far away from the site as humanely possible…

    If you have a chairman who tells you Evansville must support the current hotel plan because Downtown needs visitors and says its supported 10-1 yet fails to sign a petition to construct the ball fields just down the road from the hotel when 101 people have signed the petition for it vs 0 for Goebel….

    If you have a mayor whose hotel jobs estimate dwarfs the Hunden report, whose “general conclusions” page on the Roberts Stadium Task Force report isn’t even mathematically possible, and whose McGladley report was “just a rough draft” then tells you that every body hates his ideas in 2013 because of a report commissioned in 1957.

    And then sadly, If you make post after post on here about how awful it is that 2 mil of the innkeepers tax is going to a downtown hotel and then say nothing when the ecvb proposes spending nearly 7 times that at a location that will benefit only the few because you don’t want to make Dunn Hospitality angry…

    YOU MIGHT BE FROM EVANSVILLE!

  10. They should be building the ball parks on the Roberts location instead of a stinking dog park.Easy access for all the out of town teams coming in for tournaments and close location to shopping malls and restaurants . It’s a shame we don’t have leaders running our city instead of clowns and village idiots.

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