Low Voter Turnout Loses Elections: Excuses from Last Night

12


Some of the Stuff Out there today is Priceless

1. It Rained

2. It Flooded

3. School Started Late

4. The Wind Was Blowing

5. We postponed our Celebration Dinner

6. Kangaroo Express ran out of Marlboro Reds

7. Good Old Boys ran out of PBR

8. Chocolate Cover Fleas did it

9. People do not want to be identified with any political party

10. President Obama shot Bin Ladin

11. Tim Geithner collected enough taxes that we don’t have to shut the government down.

12. John Kish did it for the Haitians

13. The partridge in a pear tree did it.

14. The Pigeon Creek Piranha (our favorite)

And of course these things had nothing to do with it.

1. Proposed Firehouse Closings

2. McCurdy Pigeon Mansion

3. Puppetmaster Politics

4. Jobs Plan that isn’t

5. Sewers

6. Litter

7. Parks in Shambles

8. No Substance in Campaign.

9. Promising to be the 2nd coming of Mayor Weinzapfel

10. Booth gate

11. Homestead Tax Credit

And the list goes on! Feel free to contribute as you all see fit.

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

12 COMMENTS

  1. We need a LOT more reporting on the Pigeon Creek Piranah. Sounds dangerous, but grilled with butter could be delicious.

  2. I have to admit I have been seriously sadden by the loss of PBR from the Peephole

    And btw it has come to my attention some think I am City Councilman Curt John. I am not and only know Mr. John in passing but wanted to clear that up for people.

    • I like Curt John-he never pretends to be anything but what he is, unapologetic and candidly himself. Wrong or right-not everyone walks on water.

  3. $4 gas.

    There’s more of a difference between the two boxes of cereal in my cabinet…

    My cereal boxes come with federally mandated specifics, yet our politicians only divulge vague generalities of “change”, with slightly different flare…

  4. Voting facilities don’t allow smoking…

    My vote was for sale, in exchange for a bottle of Opus One. No takers, yet…

    I might settle for a set of New Kids on the block tickets…

    Or a nice stay at an Urbana hotel, I hear they are really nice…

  5. Someone told me my exwife’s private eye was lurking around the polling place.

    I drank so much PBR at the Peephole last year that my belly got all swollen up and I couldn’t tie my shoes.

    I drove through so much deep water on the way to the polling place that when I put on the brakes, they failed, and I coasted all the way into the neighboring ward.

    When it finally stopped raining, and I recovered from the shock of it all, I did get in the car and drive toward the polls, but not being used to the brightness of the sun, I was temporarily blinded and stopped by Thortons for a big gulp and some Hoosier pull tabs instead.

    I live in the newly annexed area of Knight Township, and they told me I had to vote on two ballots, one in the 5th Ward and one in the 3rd, and I couldn’t bring myself to voting against a dude who wants to build locks and dams on Pigeon Creek so even more water will back up into my basement, I don’t know, that and it was just too confusing …

    When I got to the polls, that Oglesby dude and Troy were duking it out, and there was such a crowd gathered ’round laying down bets that, being very anti-gambling and non-violent, I turned around and ran back home.

    My precinct committeeman only got $25, and after buying coffee and donuts for his non-existent poll workers, he didn’t have $5 left to buy my vote.

    Councilman Watts and I were turkey hunting and by the time we got back to town, the whole damned thing was over!

    Someone told me because of the school delay and the high water outside the levee that Mark Owen had postponed the elections until today, and when I got to Vogel School, they were playing volleyball in the gym and the voting booths were gone!

    I usually vote in the Fall Festival booth which always was parked in front of Don Walker’s house, but when I went over there to vote, the booth was gone and Don was asleep on his patio and I couldn’t get him to wake up and tell me where to go vote.

  6. I Googled, Yahoo’d, Bing’ed, Wikipedia’d and even ask.com’d – “Which URL do I use to electronically vote in an Evansville, IN primary?”

    I kept getting a PHYSICAL address, do you all actually send in a letter with one of those STAMPS?

  7. whether good or bad i am a seperate eville taxpayer,,not to be confused with the one with a space between the e and the t

  8. Why didn’t I go to the polls?

    – Troy Tornatta might punch me if I went to the polls
    – My voting precinct was at the Executive Inn’s parking garage
    – Jonathan Weaver might fire me if I voted against him
    – David Mosby might sue me if I wore a fire fighters patch into the polls
    – I couldn’t vote against Weinzapfel
    – The Homestead Tax took the last of my gas money
    – I was too busy putting my own house fire out
    – Indianapolis never told me who to vote for
    – Whirlpool took my ballot to Mexico
    – I was too late, I took the Lloyd

Comments are closed.