Dear Ann Landers: I never have cheated on my wife and am absolutely certain that I never will. We have been married for five wonderful years, and our marriage is rock solid. Here’s the problem: About a year ago, during a moment of passion, I happened to call out the name of my wife’s best friend, “Annabelle.” You can imagine my wife’s reaction.
Annabelle is single, in her early 20s and good-looking, and she has a terrific figure. She moved out of town three years ago. I made it clear to my wife that nothing ever went on between Annabelle and me and that calling her name was just part of a harmless fantasy. I tried to explain that fantasies are normal and I have no intention of acting them out. My wife accepted this explanation, and things seemed to be going well. Now comes the hard part.
Annabelle visits us once a year and stays for a week. Her visit is coming up soon, and my wife has started to turn very cold. In fact, she’s downright hostile. I know she is afraid I will be attracted to Annabelle and feels threatened. What can I do to reassure her and get things back on track? — Faithful in Denver
Dear Denver: Because you have had sexual fantasies about Annabelle, your wife has some justification for feeling a bit threatened. Start immediately to line up some attractive men for Annabelle to go out with when she is visiting you. Make sure you are never alone with your guest, and most importantly, concentrate on finding a substitute fantasy woman. (Any star of stage or screen will do.) And be especially affectionate to your wife in Annabelle’s presence. She will appreciate it.
Dear Ann Landers: I have been going with a man for three years. “Jerome” has a 5-year-old daughter, and I don’t know how much longer I can tolerate that child. She tells her father where to sit, where to stand, when to go out and what to eat. She walks around his apartment and insists on holding his hand, no matter what he’s doing. She even goes to the bathroom with him. (He says she cries if he locks her out.) If she awakens in the middle of the night, he allows her to sleep with him.
Jerome is divorced, and his daughter spends two nights a week at his place. I realize she misses her father, but this seems to me a very unhealthy attachment. When she is with him, she won’t play with her toys or watch TV. She only wants to sit on his lap. This child has so many hang-ups it saddens me. Jerome says I am jealous of her, but I don’t believe this is true. What do you say, Ann? — Ready To Give Up in Richmond, Va.
Dear Richmond: Dump Jerome, unless you are willing to play second fiddle to that pathetic spoiled brat for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, her brattiness is not her fault. Her father (probably guilty about the divorce) has catered to the child to the extent that he is totally under her thumb. Adios, Jerome, and the sooner the better.
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