IS IT TRUE January 10, 2014

1. The Art of Inconvenience: From the Continuing Adventures of Mayor Shinnicke
   By: Brad Linzy

   An inconvenience display…that’s what it was called!

   Mayor Shinnicke had spent the last five minutes trying to think of that term. He’d read it in a book about human behavior once. By a British fellow, he thought, but he couldnt remember the names of the author or the book. He was lucky to recall the elusive term at all. He’d been getting irregular sleep since, well, since taking office really, but especially since finding out his city’s books were unbalanced. And not just a little unbalanced, but off by millions and for over 18 months. This was bad and he was nervous.

   He needed this meeting to go off without a hitch. He had actually shined his shoes this morning, rubbing the expensive Italian things so hard they glistened. He had even skipped his morning shower masturbation session, having heard this starvation of the sexual urge sharpened the mind.

   Now he was practicing his salutation ritual in his imagination, getting out of his swivel chair, acting surprised, expressing a hearty distance greeting and an ‘inconvenience display’. That was the idea in getting out of his chair and meeting these men (and lady) at the office door rather than just remaining seated and shaking hands across the desk once they’d joined him. This technique is supposed to convey friendliness and a willingness to ‘put oneself out’, hence the ‘inconvenience’ part.

   That Brit was right about the ‘display’ part too because, really, this was window dressing. This was last thing he wanted to be doing today, the last people he wanted to be seeing. This was one giant, ape-sized pain in his ass.

   That sonofabitch former Mayor had really screwed him good. Not only had his predecessor gone and gotten himself a cushy job with a former crony law firm, but he had left all this accounting mess to be cleaned up, blaming it on a software switch. What a crock. Everyone knew the software had little to do with it, that money had been moved around into so many different accounts no one knew what was what anymore. Throw in this multi-million dollar accounting software ‘upgrade’ in the waning hours of your Administration, several simultaneous sweetheart projects, all with different sets of accounts, and voila! A perfect smokescreen. At this point, it would really be easier to just declare the money never existed at all. Why couldn’t things just be that easy?

   The stress was causing his stomach to tie itself in knots. A quick fondle in the desk and a couple Tums might help. Mmm, cherry flavor. Better already.

   Antacid was one of the only things that seemed to do its job – nothing more, nothing less, never complaining, never asking for a departmental raise. It just cured stomach problems. If Tums were a man he’d be appointed to head up a special task force of some kind. Hell, he might even actually heed the findings of that task force. Tums would be a good ol’ boy. One of us. A real kicker of asses, a taker of names, a roll up the sleeves and get shit done kind of fella.

   A buzz on the intercom. It was Shelley, his receptionist. Shelley’s actual title was ‘office manager’, but it was the exact same job that 10 years ago was called ‘receptionist’, and 30 years ago was called ‘secretary’. He called her his office manager, but thought of her as his receptionist. ‘Receptionist’ was a fair compromise, he reckoned. But compromise wasn’t a luxury he could afford when it came to stuff like feminism, so he just thought it best to give feminists a wide berth, not to even touch them with a 100 foot pole. No pun intended.

   ‘The folks from the State Board of Accounts are here to see you.’

   ‘Ok. Send them in.’

   The acid returned to his stomach, that churning, helpless feeling, like the one you got when your dad sent you to bend over a piece of vintage furniture and wait while he dug a paddle or belt out of his closet. Tums was fired.

   Again he practiced his inconvenience maneuver in his head, being careful not to spring too early or too late. Who knew that being inconvenienced was such an art? The door opened. In trolloped Shelley with two men in tow and one lady. The Mayor had a pile of papers on his desk and was pretending to sign them as if they were important city documents. They were really destined for the shredder.

   He looked up feigning surprise by mistake. He momentarily forgot they would have known he was aware they were there. No matter. He dove confidently into his inconvenienced posture, getting up, striding across the carpet.

   ‘Well, hellooooo.’ He always sung that phrase. Thought it made him sound homely and approachable. He shook hands with all three being sure to bow slightly in a gesture of both mild subservience and willingness at help. That Brit had been full of useful tips. That one was supposed to help with cops when trying to get out of a ticket. He could take care of the cop thing now himself, a perk of the job, but maybe it would work for getting out of accounting clusterf—s?

   ‘I see you’ve already met Shelley, my office manager.’ The three accountants nodded and exchanged pleasantries and compliments again with Shelley before settling into chairs.

   These guys seemed harmless. Their clothes were crumpled and off the rack. Their hair was generally a mess, they smelled vaguely of Chinese food, and they just looked like they’d spent all night driving down from the Capital in a Ford Fiesta and sleeping in an Econolodge. Only the lady was passable as a professional looking person, but only just. She certainly wasn’t attractive, which was the first thing he always noticed about a woman. At least Shelley was attractive.

   ‘So what we really need to see are…’ The Mayor’s attention wandered. The rest was a bunch of accounting gobbledygook. He didn’t work on the accounting side of things even when he worked at the bank. He was the guy who decided which model toaster you got free when you opened a new checking account. These people might as well have been speaking in Swahili.

   ‘Just a sec.’ The Mayor pressed the intercom. ‘Hey Shelley, is Rusty in his office? Can you send him in here please?’

   The Mayor nodded for the man in the crumpled suit to continue. More gobbledygook. Then a mousy knock at the door. In stepped a man in an even more crumpled suit, looking like warmed over hell, like refried beans out of a microwave.

   ‘Hey Russ… Guys, this is Rusty, the City Controller. He will be happy to answer all your questions. Now if you will kindly excuse me, I have meetings all afternoon.’ He ushered the Swahili speakers out of the office. They, and their gobbledygook with them, disappeared down the hall.

   He pressed the intercom. ‘Shelley, please cancel all my appointments today. I’m gonna be tied up with this accounting business.’ He popped a couple Tums, locked his office door and waited till until 3:00.

   That was a tough day.

   • LOL! I’d like to collaborate on a novel with you, Brad. It could be some sort of take on “A Conferacy of Dunces” government-style.
     Anybody who hasn’t read that book, and wants a laugh, get it. I first read it about 35 years ago.

     • I’ll be writing new installments. The previous installment is in another comment somewhere else. Who knows… This might turn into a novel. One thing this town is good for, comedic inspiration. So many characters…

       • Evansville “good government” could inspire a tragicomedy of epic impact. I do love dark humor, but living in the midst of it gets a little frustrating.

         • It would help if the State Board would bring back their CPAs to do the City audit. When they did that, the report came out in early fall. Now we have Airhead, Shamu, Sheldon Cooper, and Auditor Cowabunga on the job and they are still on site auditing! They all might as well stay to audit 2013. I hear that their boss dude is also not a CPA.

   • The Art of Inconvenience: From the Continuing Adventures of Mayor Shinnicke

     Very enjoyable!

2. Ah yes, good ole capitalism. A toxic dump that made somebody rich and they’ll never be held accountable or their heirs won’t.

   • Back in the day, we didn’t know any better. Maybe we should have, but we didn’t. My main concern with the business was pro-environment, to salvage materials and ornate trims and re-use them. Ours was a small endeavor, because we didn’t bid jobs that didn’t have salvageable architectural features. The bigger outfits really “cleaned up” financially, that is.
     There is no doubt in my mind that there are tons of lead and asbestos in the soil on a lot of sites that were part of the “Project B” renewal area.

   • Most of those companies are gone and the people are not rich. The toxic dump wasn’t even known to be toxic back when this was going on. Don’t blame capitalism. Blame ignorance.

     • You’re partially right, Yoda. I’m surely not rich, and neither are the ex-partners in our enterprise. We didn’t know then, but we know now, and government needs to keep the capitalists from poisoning people for “fun and profit.”

       • I guess my point is that the government didn’t know how to do that back when you were breathing in coal dust and aside from a few new regulations still does not know how to assure that business is not poisoning people. It is a tough problem. By regulating coal we minimize pollutants. Those same regulations put coal miners out of work and their families into poverty. Which is worse? That depends on whether or not you are affected. That same regulation is why Vectren’s rates are more than double Henderson’s. We are all affected by those $500+ energy bills. This is why we need thinking people in government who can make sound choices.

         • Bing-O!! The few people I know that meet the qualifications to hold offices like Mayor of E’ville aren’t interested in a dirty job like that. When someone shows an interest in the job, be very, very wary. The best people don’t go out looking for headaches.

         • Yoda EKB: Here’s a suggestion/tip, the coal industry,and the those politically aligned with the labor force for “those industries don’t seem to get”,seriously.
           We don’t control this planet, persay,it controls us.

           That being said, Balance Sustainability* is a blend of how the human race adapts to what the planet offers,always has been,always will be.

           Coal is useful carbon energy stored by the planet dynamics in the geoplantary ecosystem balances.
           The human race found enterprize and great fortune in its applied uses to expand our industrial technology.

           Technology,if applied through science, and industry can again find pathways to better more Planet wise exploitation of the this limited carbon resource.
           Think now of the “skills and methods”in which or how the industrial labor force now “works” to utilize the carbon resources.
           These people need jobs now right? Ok,how do we blend those skills with a plan to sequester carbon emissions and provide improved social economic environmental conditionals and a stable sustained environment?
           What do miners do well while performing the job to supply energy?
           How,can we use that very skill to improve our whole unit planet environmental cross blending forward?
           Better carbon use still needs usable available carbons,right? The Balanced Sustainability plan*

           Actually those coal miners do have a large footprint in how we blend those features as a whole unit incrementally. (“Sustainable mining and construction jobs,with clearly clean applied technology,applied for clearly beneficial pathways. “The new norm coming”)

           Take coal mining West Virginia and todays,”state of emergency” over 300,000 without any usable Clean Water due to poor environmental conditionals.

           How could a large group of dedicated hard working earth moving individuals “such as coal miners fix that?”

           Proper alignment with evolutionary blending of working regional skill sets utilized for a better cleaner environment forward…..thats how.*

           This might just be be new ground social economically political as well.

           Mother earth is teaching the course dynamics,reminds me of the Nuns and those danged 18″rulers they wielded “back in the day” attention,in class so to speak.

           “sub sole nihi novi est”

           “theres nothing new under the sun”

         • From afar looks like,your areas environmental conditional actualities are dealing with some years of being set aside or buried in stuff.
           After reading these comments I was going say this articles spotlighted area of concern there is kinda like the icebergs tip relative to the whole unit there. Remember,just how old some schools and other buildings footprints are there,as well.

           Even some of the newer ones on older redeveloped or repurposed sites. The buildings and sites haven’t changed,however the available science to sight,identify and work to solve those issues has evolved for the better, somewhat.

           Golly,after reading EKBs series of comments today,maybe that situations more like the tip of the lump of feces you shouldn’t flush..yet..

           Evansville’s whoas are indeed being shared across the country lately,good luck with the solutions as EPA mandate requires,however.

   • Tom,

     They’re called economic externalities.

     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Externality

     It’s happens when businesses are allowed to push some of their indirect/true costs onto the rest of society, pocketing the difference. Pollution being a prime example along with Wall St shifting their investment risk over to the government/public. Heads they win, tails the public loses.

     The concept is covered and studied in say Chapter 6 or 7 in basic College Freshman economics but the tight righties and libertarians ignore and avoid it like the plauge. Mainly, because it doesn’t fit their ideology and because 100% of republican(some D’s too) politicians are paid to help corporations avoid these costs.

     The policy implications are huge. When the costs of externalties are included coal goes from the second cheepest source of fuel to the worst.

     http://riversedge.hubpages.com/hub/real-cost-of-fossil-fuels

     Further by listening to the repubs and ignoring externalities we’eve suffered the great depression, the great recession, the Wall St bailout, etc. Which reminds me don’t let them tell you they(the oligarchs)
     should go bankrupt. That does nothing. They’ve already walked away with the dough(e.g. Bain Capital)

     The only way to effectively deal with this is UP FRONT before it starts.

     So Tom keep your GOP BS decoder ring handy this fall. When you hear republican politicians yammering about “deregulation” or “job killing regulations” or “getting the government off our backs” this is the game of three card monte they are playing.

3. …don’t forget lead and mercury in the ground from paint and industrial uses.

   • Walls were full of coal-soot. I nearly died of pneumonia in 1985, after I demo-ed a wall in the historic house I lived in. I’m betting a lot of “soil” downtown is really coal soot and ash.
     That needs to be a major consideration in the “demos” being planned with E-ville’s share of that state money we are supposedly getting.

   • OMG, is this the problem with the Aces basketball program. They are literally being “poisoned” by playing at the Fraud Center ????? i.e. visiting teams are only there for one game ? (I sincerely hope that’s not the case, but you never know)

     • Ice Men seem to be doing pretty well and they play a lot more games there.

4. As a former partner in a now-defunct demolition business that did a lot of work in the downtown urban renewal areas in the 1970’s and 80’s, I can testify that whatever materials were on a site were hit with a bulldozer, the big chunks were hauled off to a dump, and the rest of what was left was buried. That leaves the door open to all kinds of nastiness.
   A good friend and employee of that business recently died of cancer. Since I found out he was sick, I have wondered about what role that job may have played in his illness.

5. The core samples for the casino were so bad the company from Oklahoma drug up when the crews drilling started to throw up blood. They said they’d not be back, I had lunch with them on their way out of town. No clean up ,stick the pilings in seal with concrete and issue the permit. The Buy-low on main had the worst mercury contamination test results, yet not cleaned up.

6. LOl… How could they not know that a environmental audit of the property would be needed to secure financing, even Bob Jones should have told them to make sure it would pass before going public.

   A very basic introduction….

   http://www.dorson.com/audits.html

   JMHO

   • Blanger,

     When the downtown Arena (later named Ford Center) was being constructed, there were insurance policies for Environmental/Pollution. These policies were brokered by ONB Insurance, and the carrier was some offshore carrier in the Islands (and I don’t know if that is a significant fact or not; but would make a good plot for John Grisham).

     There was also some Asbestos Removal done–at least on the building which used to be across the street from the Victory (i.e. Libs, Dallas Music, Pressbox, etc.).
     Not sure about the actual site of the Arena, though.

     • The carrier for the polltion policy was based in the Cayman Islands.

7. So if the convention hotel falls through for one reason or another, where does that leave the naming rights contract? Since investment in the hotel is specifically mentioned as the valid form of payment, does that nullify the contract?

   Is there a lawyer in the house?

   • I think the naming rights wind up in the toilet, Brad. We can’t even flush until it gets smelly, though. We have to conserve water.

     • The naming rights were only a good deal for Ole Nat anyway. I don’t think much if anything is actually required for that old boy to fulfill his part of the contract. He’s not your father’s Ole Nat. He’s an actual person now. A slick one.

       As soon as those reservoirs are whipped back into shape the community should come together for a mass flush to show what it thinks of the debacle that the attempt to site a hotel by the arena has become.

       Anybody put any money up for that hotel yet? Anyone got much confidence in the veracity of the next press release concerning the hotel?

       • Exactly. I’m beginning to wonder if one single dime has been raised for this pipe dream.

8. From the CP:

   “The company in November announced it would close five plants in a cost-cutting move. Three of the plants were in Houston; Kent, Wash.; and Alsip, Ill. The other two plant locations have not been reported. The Alsip, Ill., plant employed 480 people, according to a report by a CBS TV station in Chicago. The Kent, Wash, plant employed 118 people.”

   It looks like Evansville just got 280 jobs because 600 people elsewhere lost their jobs. Net negative for the country folks. You guys just took the lead in the race to the bottom.

   • Well, well, well, all of those 600 job cuts happened in Washington and Illinois that are not RTW states and came to Indiana that is a RTW state. It is coincidence or is this new law beginning to bear fruit?

     • Maybe, but the “fruit” appears to be toxic and ill-gotten. Leave it to Indiana to steal poisoned fruit and celebrate by gourging on it. It is probably a slow-acting poison, but it is poison, nonetheless.

       • According to the Berry Plastics statement it looks like RTW has catapulted Indiana right to the top in job growth. Now the quality of those jobs will necessarily match the quality of our workforce. If we are only worth $8 an hour that is better than nothing which is what those union loving states are getting. The quote below is from the Berry press release.

         “Berry Plastics’ announcement to expand in the Hoosier State adds to the recent good news about Indiana’s economy. In November, Indiana led the nation in its percentage of private sector job growth. It gained 25,300 private sector jobs that month, the largest one-month increase in the Hoosier State on record.”

         • You can confirm this by checking out the ATLAS migration report……. Oh wait!

           http://www.atlasvanlines.com/migration-patterns/

           • Cool map, thanks. The following statement that I cut and pasted from the reports says it all. Of course Atlas has data for people who spend $10k or more to move. I wonder what the U-Haul data indicates. By the way professionals do not move for $18 an hour jobs. That would be the the U-Haul crowd.

             “No Midwestern state has been classified as inbound for more than 10 consecutive years.”

     • Maybe that is why Evansville is slowly dying/committing suicide.

9. Did Berry Plastics promise Evansville a huge number of new jobs over a long period of time when they worked the tax deal with the city to make Evansville their headquarters? How many of those jobs have been created and if not all, are they planning to count these transfers as “new” jobs? What is the pay scale in the cities where plants are being closed and how does it compare to local pay and benefits?

   • NoMo:

     These are great, great questions. Here’s one more: what is the exact amount of “subsidy” (I call it ‘greenmail’) that the City gave Berry Plastics to keep its HQ here ?

     I believe the answer is $ 22 Million. Can anyone corroborate or change this figure ??

     • Can’t corroborate, but find it sickening that we are going to give them more tax breaks, even though there is a net reduction in jobs. Wow! Way to be jackasses, E-ville!

       • I think they were given a choice between being given substantial tax breaks or Jacobsville. They decided both would be more to their liking and were thusly accomodated.

       • When Whirlpool closed locally and moved all production to other places, they announced a net growth in jobs. It took your brilliance to show us how that was a great thing for all the locals who lost their jobs.

       • Wouldn’t surprise me if it was true. States in my view are to happy/willing to use taxpayers money as bait and not convinced in the long run its a smart thing to do.

         Over time it becomes a crutch and the real problems of no/low job growth are never addressed.

         In short use of such bait is a cop out.

   • Aren’t these jobs new to Evansville? What does a comparison of pay accomplish for the locals getting jobs that pay $18 an hour? Isn’t the goal to have Evansville’s economy grow and it’s citizen’s lives to improve? What is the down side to Berry expanding here?

     • Right, their loss is our gain. Sure if you look nationally it is a net loss, but locally it is a win.

     • agree…..$18 an hour plus benefits goes along way in evansville…..the liberals live in an entitlement society sorry no job is an entitlement…..the liberal minions continue to defend commie barry even though the economy is as bad as its been since jimmy carter….thank God for Mr. Daniels and Mr. Pence and that the majority of Indiana are not low information deadbeats…….over 17 trillion in debt 92 million Americans not in the work force and the beat goes on…. http://www.usdebtclock.org/

       • cco you question if it is a confused captain……..i say the destruction is on purpose…….

       • Your incoherent ramblings are getting crazier by the day.

         • The only thing that makes them incoherent to you Ghost is the fact you are reading them through those rose colored glasses.

10. Those reservoirs have been leaking for years. The utility has been putting off fixing them once again because of cost. We do not like to fix things until it is a emergency or are forced to by the EPA.

11. thanks for them jobs i ams verys scared this obamas economys goings to puts everyones on welfares and nobodys going to be lefts to pays me this is gettings bads

    • Racist piece of trash, your mo is much like that Tommy romo nut job. Probably a second handle.

      • Ignore these miser/trolls. They’re stuck in a closed hermetically sealed loop.

        Somehow they’ve convinced themselves that if only Obama were gone and Romney were Prez, and if we could make sure the “others” stayed on their side of the tracks, the gays were not allowed to marry and the US was a theocracy and we all become christian god lovin’ gun totin’ bible quotin’ Mericans then they would live in mansions, their kids we be on honor roll and their sex lives would be supercalifragilisticly great.

        Ohhh don’t forget you have to punish the poor enough and cut taxes for the oligarchs enough for the RW “magic” to work.

    • Editor: Why do you continue to leave these repulsive, racist posts up, but take down things you think will hurt Teddy Stucki or that MacNeil person up?

      • edit: cancel the “up” at the end.

12. I believe you’re referring to Illinois Central train station once being located where the civic center now stands. It met the same fate as the L&N station which proudly stood on Fulton Ave near Ohio St.

    The Four Freedoms Monument on the riverfront owes its pillars to the former IC station.

    The stations went into disuse and disrepair when passenger trains stopped being a popular mode of transportation, ultimately meeting the wrecking ball.

    Some people wanted to save the stations, particularly the L&N I recall. But the short-sited, local pragmatists, with no sympathy toward beautiful, historic architecture, out-numbered them. Replacing the L&N with a gravel yard and the IC with the hideous Civic Center. I’m surprised the Old Courthouse still stands.

13. Let me see..Whirlpool leaves Evansville to move to Tenn, but that is offset by the fact that Whirlpool hired more workers somewhere else. However, if Berry brings jobs to Evansville related to a cost saving move badly needed, then the net job loss is the real issue?

    With thinking like this, no wonder we have so few manufacturing compaines coming to employ our educated workforce. $18 an hour for semi skilled manufacturing labor given the local cost of living, is a very good salary, based on what Berry manufactures. Where should they relocate the jobs?

    The enemy is not foreign competition. We should thank Bob Orr’s ghost for getting us Toyota. Japanese investment in Indiana is the reason why this state ranks number 2 in auto manufacturing. I have seen the enemy and it is us!! Drag out the Fantus report from the 1950’s for goodness sake, and stop fighting the last war, or get ready to have your lunch eaten by China or India. Don’t worry they will buy all the coal some also don’t want us to produce from the Aussies.

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