My personal guess would be “I love you, Mom, but… â€
I see you nodding in recognition.——Moms give us life.–They nurture us.–They see us through times of injury and illness.–They inspire us with a slice of their own indomitable spirit.–But mothers also know how to push all our buttons and drive us crazy.
The stories about motherly micro-management of wearing clean underwear for ambulance rides, digesting lunch before swimming, jumping off a bridge, etc. are legendary.–I’m sure when witches were being burned at the stake, there was a mother admonishing her hapless daughter, “Don’t forget to wear your sweater!â€
We put up with the micro-management because the self-sacrifice of mothers makes us feel guilty.–(“Go on to your rock concert with your friends.–I have the symphony of your father’s snoring to keep me company.–One two three&Layla, you’ve got me on my knees, Layla&â€)–
A good mother is there with time, money, and unconditional love.–You know your mom would gladly give you the shirt off her back, her last dollar, or even a transplant organ.–(“Thanks, Ma, but the offer of an ovary is creeping me out.–Signed, your son, Johnny.â€)
Of course mothers do have their differences.–Some can’t wait to experience “empty nest syndrome.â€â€“My own mother, on the other hand, has always had problems cutting the apron strings for me and my brother.–I’m glad that I live only 10 minutes from my mother’s house and have given her a daughter-in-law and grandson that she can be proud of, but I think the original plan was for me to move next door, work from home, and reproduce by splitting in half.
My mother’s reminiscences are just a little too wistful.–I’ve lost track of how many times she has used the phrase “you were just babies†when recounting some anecdote.–My brother and I were allegedly just babies when we started to school, started to shave, got a driver’s license, etc.–I vaguely recall that when I was younger her stories went more like “I remember when you took your first step – you were just an embryo.â€
My mother still is obsessed with straightening my collar, but at least she no longer makes public proclamations about how much crotch room I have in my new pants.–On the other hand, she still has a U.S. Census to look forward to in a couple of years.–(“Wait – you didn’t ask a single question about how old Danny and Dwight were when they were weaned!â€)
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