DON’T SNEER AT TRUMP’S CHANCES

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Raging Moderate by Will Durst

Yeah, I hear what you’re saying. “For all you political comics, Donald Trump must be a dream come true. Manna from heaven. Slam-dunking from a step-ladder. Swimming in a sea of beer.”

Oh sure, there are jokes.

1. Trump’s presidential campaign is like a baboon’s butt. The higher he climbs, the harder it is to look.

2. Not saying his message is confusing, but doubt he could convince a majority of the voices in his head to vote for him.

3. Trump doesn’t respect gay marriage because of tradition. And the fact that he’s been married three times just makes him… extra traditional.

4. Wants to run the country like a business. Which is worrisome. Because he seems exactly the kind of guy who would burn it down for the insurance.

Don’t forget the aerodynamic coif. But getting an actual handle on the Big El Nino is as difficult as Klingon calculus. How do you parody a parody? Most candidates cling to talking points the way deep sea divers do air hoses, but to a real estate developer, points apparently are to be avoided at all costs.

He’s all over the place: an anachronistic hybrid, tweeting from the Old West. No notes. No Tele-Prompter. No handlers. The focus of a feather. Shooting straight from the hip and the lip. “Mexicans are rapists.” “John McCain is a poseur.” “Megyn Kelly got hormonal.”

Donald Trump vs. Megyn Kelly: now there’s a sequel worthy of Buckley vs. Vidal. Do you get the feeling America doesn’t care who wins this skirmish as long as one of them loses. Hey, just doing good journalism.

Despite more slip-ups than 3rd graders playing Bombardment in stocking feet on a freshly polished gym floor, the New York developer’s approval rating continues to rise like a pastry factory with a leaky yeast valve. If Reagan were Teflon, the Donald is some sort of space age polymer.

But to say that not all is happy-rama in the GOP theme park is similar to intimating that salted caramel cream puffs make inadequate shock absorbers. The exploits of Walker, Cruz, Rubio and Bush are a PBS after-thought to the daily TMZ shenanigans of Mr. Celebrity Apprentice Presidente.

A finite amount of light is available in a primary campaign, and the brighter it shines on a single spoiled trust fund baby, the less luminosity available for the incredible array of governors and former governors running nearby. With the odd senator thrown in. “Odd” being the operative word.

Then consider that each of the semi-normal politicians is being bankrolled by a totally different collection of billionaires and you can see the problem. The obscenely affluent don’t encourage their kind to run for president. Tends to eliminate the middle-men. The rich prefer their office holders beholden. Puppets with strings are easier to control. As the Donald says, “the system’s broken,” and the people agree.

So here’s a tip for all you professional scoffers sneering at Trump’s chances of winning the nomination, and should he pull that off, disparage as laughable the thought of a victory in the general. Just remember… they said the same thing about Ronald Reagan. And we all know how that turned out. Wonder if another Bush could be talked into the VP slot. There’s synchronicity for you.

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24 COMMENTS

  1. I wonder what Mr. Durst has to say about Hillary’s campaign? Must be careful there, he might get drummed out of the city he resides in.

    In any event, how about a little Hillary bashing just for balance?

    • I am not currently a Hillary supporter, but if she wins the nomination, I will absolutely support her over the blathering bigot, Trump.

  2. I’m not sneering at Trump’s chance at the nomination. I’m cheering for him. If the more conventional Republicans succeed in getting the nomination for one of their candidates, I hope he launches a third party bid. It is time for the far right lunatics to learn that they are a shrinking minority, and the resounding defeat of Trump might give them a hint.
    Trump is no Ronald Reagan.

  3. 999—— and counting, E-mails with Classified info on (the Serial Liar) Hillery’s unsecured personal computer/server. You have to wonder–WHO– is it,– really,–that wants her as President?

    • It is not HER they want back in the White House, it is her Svengalian husband they want. She doesn’t have enough brains to blow her nose, but Bubba has his PhD in “what’s in it for me”, and all the bad players know they can deal with a man like that.

      For all you people who didn’t get enough the first time around, there is a mountain of data on the Clintons out there. Oh I know, you didn’t take the time to find out anything about them the first time they ran, but anyone who actually cares to know who they are and what they value has more information available than they need in order to form an accurate opinion of the two.

      With all the outside threats this country is dealing with, we do not need an equally dangerous threat occupying the White House a year from now.

  4. Hillery Clinton declined,– Sunday to say that a “radical” form of Islam is behind terrorist attacks,– connected to the Islamic State.

  5. The fact that we have enough dumbass uneducated rednecks in this country to have trump in the lead is really depressing.

    • +1! The good news is that there are not enough of them to elect him POTUS, just enough to kill the GOP!

      • It seems Darwin has finally tapped the Republican Party on the shoulder. I mean, look at them, all of them. President?? A bunch of lightweight clowns, would-be booksellers, religious fanatics, bullies, tough talkers.

        The little punk Rubio, if properly clad in a doggie Christmas vest, possibly with lights powered by a 9v, could make himself useful in a mascoting role. He could possibly even garner a slice of the vote from the 6-8 year old demographic.

        • Yes, but unfortunately she strolled out with 2 racks of the world’s ugliest pantsuits. They went out under her Burberry’s, which itself was glommed from Macy’s when the cameras weren’t looking. Chelsea is said to be complicit in the pantsuit caper but the trenchcoat boosting is all on the Hildebeast.

  6. So we have a tycoon who has actually built something and made other people’s lives better and richer, or we have the liar who was unfit to prosecute Nixon and turns a government position into a fortune. Yeah, I know the “intellectuals” will use their smarts and for the lair, but the rednecks are stupid enough to know which choice is smarter.

    • Oh please. He was born rich and has sucked on the corporate welfare tit his entire life and screwed over plenty of people along the way.

      • Sorry, I’m not smart enough to play class warfare. I’m just a stupid redneck how prefers looking at accomplishments and not just personalities or political colors. I will never be a great intellectual like you or enrich people like Trump. Maybe I could become a liar like Hillary. She seems to have created a legacy among the intellectuals.

        I have others I like better than Trump, but it’s going to be between Hillary or Trump, and mother Hillary will lose.

      • Here is a brief synopsis of Trump’s life. He made his money (millions) through his own efforts and expertise.

        http://www.biography.com/people/donald-trump-9511238#synopsis

        Then there is Bill and Hillary who came to Washington with scares little in the way of money, and after two terms as president they left with millions although neither held a position during that time that would have produced that kind of money. As Bill Murray would say: It’s a marac!,…. Cinderella story from out of nowhere!

        • Trump was born rich. Are you disputing that? If he’d been born poor, he’d still be poor.

          • Define rich, and so what if he was? Being rich does not mean you are a bad person except If he had been born poor, he would still be where he is today and you would still be where you are.

          • Bill Clinton was born poor, how did he get his estimated $80. Million? There goes your argument right out the window.

          • You sound bitter. If both of you started out in the same place, both of you will be where are you today. The difference is that you have arrived and Trump is still going.

  8. I saw a photo recently of trump autographing a woman’s breasts. Another classy Republican.

    • But only a dumb uneducated redneck would go so far as to get a oral sex in the oval office from an intern. You can take them out of Arkansas, but you can not take Arkansas out of them.

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