GAVEL GAMUT
By Jim Redwine
www.jamesmredwine.com
(Week of 01 September 2025)
LET’S HEAR IT FOR MISANTHROPY
Peg and I have given up requesting a restaurant table to ourselves. Regardless of the genre of eatery, the maître d’hôtel or greeter or simply the seater demands that we be seated among people we do not know or choose to associate with. The restaurant may have twenty empty tables but we are commanded to sit cheek to jowl with groups of strangers who do not appreciate our presence either. Our options are to spend our precious time and money among people we do not know and will never see again or to leave and buy groceries for a meal at home.
And should we be so fortunate as to find a sparsely occupied area when we arrive, the very next party to enter the establishment will be seated right next to us even though there may be numerous empty tables across the room. Usually such interlopers will be loud, boisterous and saddled with toddlers who spend their time letting their parents or grandparents know how unhappy they are.
Having been a waiter myself in various establishments in various locales, I know it requires very little extra effort to serve parties a few extra yards apart. In fact, I always preferred a little extra space between my customers who appreciated the same.
Another phenomenon I have noticed when dining out is that servers demand that we pay personal attention to them when all we want to do is enjoy our chosen company, order our meals and ask for the check later. We cannot reasonably do anything about a bad meal except not come back, so why are we asked ad nauseum, “Is everything okay?” If it isn’t, will we be reseated by ourselves? And why do the waiters or waitresses demand eye-contact and verbal responses? How about just a little privacy? With even a hamburger costing $40.00, is a little peace and quiet out of the question?
Of course, the real problem is not being seated cheek to jowl in restaurants, but being constantly accosted by other humans who are in constant fear of being judged irrelevant and, therefore, ignored. Everyone wants their own space and time, but they resent it if the rest of us want the same thing. Most people would rather be horsewhipped than be deemed insignificant. It is preferable to be abused instead of dismissed.
Even when Peg and I visited the two-million-acre Yellowstone National Park in early May when hardly anyone else was anticipated to be there, as we were enjoying the grand solitude of awaiting the eruption of Old Faithful, a bus load of clamoring tourists arrived. They exited the tour bus like a hoard of yellow jackets with cameras. Then as Peg stood trying to watch Old Faithful erupting, a man, without saying a word, leaned his elbow upon her shoulder with his camera in hand to video the event. It is fortunate for him the national parks prohibit guns.
Gentle Reader, you might ask why those who prefer some space and privacy ever leave home? It is because modern society gives us no option. In a world with over 8 billion people crammed all over it, any respite from the cacophony of clanging culture is like a poultice of blessed ointment, a surcease of soothing balm from Gilead. But, one can only escape into Amazon for so much. Some things in our lives require forays where providers require our physical presence. Those halcyon days of family doctor house calls, home repairs, disaster recovery and neighbors fixing our fences without notice are gone with the arrival of the questionable benefits of electricity.
Where are the neighbors and friends who, much as ideal children are neither seen nor heard until and unless they are truly essential. Is it not bad enough that we must fight our way through crowded streets, jostling airport queues, sardine seating on multi-hour flights and put up with clowns who pay for seats at ballgames and concerts then never sit down even if they are in a front row?
And who are the sadists who design airplane seating with three seats and four armrests? If we are required to pay exorbitant ticket prices we should, at least, never have to share armrests with total strangers. One row of only two separate seats ought to be mandated by federal law. Plus, the overhead bins should have available space for the maximum two passengers per row carry-ons. Don’t the people who design airplanes ever fly themselves?
Assigning blame for those who demand we are subjected to unwanted socialization is difficult. It may have begun with grade school curricula that force six-year-olds to mingle even if bacteria are the only thing truly exchanged. Or, perhaps, our own parents are to blame for constantly placing us in social settings where the supposed benefits are sharing and familiarization even if what is shared is contact with unwashed comrades. Do adults have such little faith in children they fear their individuality?
Of course, what most of us would love to avoid is the insipid political philosophies of those with whom we disagree. I suggest it is time the TV pundits and gratuitous sociologists who keep harping on “togetherness” simply shut up and leave us alone. I for one would be happy to afford others their clearly illogical political positions if they would reciprocate.
In conclusion, Gentle Readers, whether you are customers or providers, let’s just strive to leave others alone and hope they do the same.
P.S. from Peg: “Geesh, what a grump? Which side of the bed did Jim get out on this morning?”
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